


Autumn in August

by Crucified_To_A_Star



Series: Maybe This is Right [3]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - College/University, Attempt at Humor, Blow Jobs, Explicit Consent, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, I wish I knew how to tag, Kissing, Light Angst, Long-Term Relationship(s), Loss of Virginity, M/M, Minor Original Character(s), Mutual Pining, Practice Kissing, Praise Kink, Prostate Milking, Shower Sex, dont let the description fool you, i cant say slowburn but kind of slowburn?, im a sucker for fluff im so sorry, side dotae - Freeform, side yujae, so much kissing oh my goodness, this is mostly smut with plot, virginity kink if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:08:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24548149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crucified_To_A_Star/pseuds/Crucified_To_A_Star
Summary: Johnny and he laughed and joked and spent days together having fun, that much hadn’t changed. The difference now, though, was there was no making out in his car, no cuddling in the dark, no stolen kisses in between trading off gaming turns. Johnny treated Mark as he treated every friend: warmly, but at arms length.
Relationships: Mark Lee/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Series: Maybe This is Right [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1691230
Comments: 51
Kudos: 386





	Autumn in August

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of a series but you don't necessarily have to read the others in order to understand this one, but it probably would help.
> 
> So, I've actually had this finished for ages, but with everything going on in the world right now, I was too distracted to edit it. I finally reached the point where I needed a break and something else to focus on.
> 
> That being said, I hope you enjoy, as always<3

Mark had never thought he was _gay_. It wasn’t that he didn’t find some men _attractive_ , because if he was being honest his two best friends were unrealistically beautiful, but it was just that he had never felt any desire to kiss them or fuck around with them in a locked car like Taeyong had explained his first experience as. He never found himself invested in _anyone_ truly, his attention mostly being directed to sports and school, his mind far too cluttered to think about a partner of _any_ gender. 

At least, until he met Johnny. 

It was pure chance that they had bumped into each other at the coffee shop Johnny’s best friend worked at during Mark’s second year. A complete accident that Johnny had dumped his iced americano down the front of Mark’s tee shirt and had insisted on buying the younger a new one. It had been just dumb luck that the two of them had transferred here from North America, that they both were native English speakers, that they shared way too many common interests. 

By the time Mark realized he had a crush on the older man, it was far too late. 

Mark hadn’t ever been infatuated with someone. Maybe at one point when he was in high school he had had dumb crushes that lasted a couple weeks and made him giggly, but Mark truly hadn’t ever even been interested in anyone. It took Johnny less than a few months to discover the fact that Mark had never even had his first kiss (and no, Johnny refused to count the truth or dare smooch from when Mark was fourteen). Mark had explained his disinterest, explained the fact that he felt a little _too_ shy to have a partner, and the ever gnawing insecurities made it impossible for him to want to try and have hook-ups. 

“If you ever want to try anything with someone safe, let me know.” Johnny had offered after his discovery.

Mark had snorted and rolled his eyes, “What, so you can find me a sex-and-relationship tutor?”

Johnny had just shrugged casually from his side of the couch, xbox controller clicking with his thumbs as he was invested in his RPG, “No,” Johnny finally said, “I’d be willing to be your first.” 

Mark had choked on his sprite, the soda coming out of his nose as he did so. After stuttering some form of an apology -or maybe it was an excuse? Mark wasn’t sure-, Mark disappeared from Johnny’s couch and into the bathroom. 

At the time, Mark hadn’t known what to say, but Johnny didn’t bring it up again and it took Mark less than three weeks to ask the man if they could just try _kissing_ and see where it went. 

When Johnny had kissed him the first time, it was soft. Mark wasn’t sure what to do with _any_ part of his body, let alone his mouth, but Johnny didn’t seem to mind. It was only a breath of a kiss, lips settling for barely two seconds before parting. 

“Is that it?” Mark asked, “Is that really it?” 

Johnny had laughed and shook his head, expression warm and comfortable as ever, “No, but I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.” 

Mark fidgeted with the belt loops on his jeans, awkwardly standing in Johnny’s living room. “I wanna know what everyone is always so interested in. It can’t be just that.”

Johnny was still smiling down at him, taller by half a foot. Johnny was incredibly handsome in the most realistic way possible. Mark couldn’t help but think about how Taeyong was the textbook definition of perfect and how Yuta looked like someone had turned a porcelain doll into a human-being and Jaehyun was a storybook prince and Doyoung a delicately drawn art piece- but none of them were casually, realistically handsome like Johnny. He looked like someone Mark would’ve seen in a home magazine or a cliche husband type. Johnny looked like someone Mark could imagine in a home, with kids, and making eggs in the morning, except extremely sexy in a way that _wasn’t_ normal. It made Mark’s heart flutter nervously.

Johnny hadn’t responded to Mark’s comment and instead had sat down on the couch and patted his lap. “What?” Mark squeaked, his voice far too pitchy.

Johnny snickered and patted his lap again, his black and grey peppered dress pants framing his muscular legs nicely, his button up discarded in favor for chilling in his undershirt. He had gotten back from a day at his internship to find Mark on his sofa when he had asked, not really having time to change yet. “Come here.”

Mark was hesitant at the time, but he had slid into Johnny’s lap, straddling him though he refused to sit fully, weight still on his knees. When Johnny’s hands found his waist it was as though he had found the off switch to his muscles, though, and Mark closed the gap and sat down. Mark’s fingers were knotted on his thighs, uncertainty creasing his pants and whitening his knuckles. Johnny’s smile was entertained to say the least as he had spoken with laughter in his voice, “You can touch me, y’know?” 

Mark scrunched his nose, “Where? Plus that’s kinda weird-” Johnny scooted him forward, sliding him up his lap unexpectedly and Mark’s hands flew to his chest to steady himself. 

“Like that,” Johnny said, one hand moving up to cup Mark’s jaw in a way that silenced his protests. When Johnny’s mouth found his again, it was equally as soft as before, but there was movement, gentle and prying. Johnny's lips were plush, overtaking Mark’s easily, but slowly he drew the courage to try moving his own, attempting to follow the precise movements. The kiss was easy, lax, not feverish or rough, but Mark could still feel his blood warming as his body grew accustomed to the feeling. It wasn’t overly stimulating, but there was something unexpectedly intimate about the movements that had Mark’s heart racing. When Johnny tilted his head, lips slotting differently, tongue brushing gently against Mark’s lips, was when Mark had felt the shiver trace his body. 

Mark had lost track of how long they made out on Johnny’s couch, but it was slow, unintimidating, and so _casual_. When Mark went back to his dorm that night his lips were raw and his mind foggy, but it wasn’t unpleasant. 

Mark had wondered after that if they would be weird, if something would be off between them, but Johnny continued on as normal, teasing Mark and letting him follow him around like a puppy. It was as if they hadn’t ever done anything and Mark wondered if he had dreamed it. 

It had taken him another week to figure out he hadn’t dreamed it when Johnny had pressed a soft kiss to his cheek while watching a movie that Mark had forgotten. It took him less than a few minutes to be trapped under Johnny, legs hitched around his waist, the kiss still as gentle as the first but _hotter_ in a way Mark wasn’t able to explain. 

When Mark’s body reacted a little _too_ excitedly was when the panic set in and he had broken the kiss. 

Johnny slid off of him without a word, passing him the bowl of popcorn that was set on the coffee table. 

Mark’s face had been warm, body tingling, nerves on fire. There was a panic in his mind as he glanced at Johnny from the corner of his eye, the other man lounging in sweatpants, long limbs stretched in front of him, wondering if he had made the man mad. It had taken him twenty minutes to speak, clinging to the bowl of popcorn as though it were a shield, “I’m sorry.” 

Johnny looked over, surprised. He had slowly scooted up the couch, assessing the smaller man wrapped around the bowl, “What do you mean?” 

“I’m sorry I made you stop. I don’t know why I did and I know you have to be upset now.” Mark played with his fingers as they held the popcorn. 

“Don’t _ever_ apologize for telling someone to stop, Mark.” Johnny’s voice was firm, but not angry, dragging Mark’s gaze over to him, “Retraction of consent is your right and if you’re uncomfortable, you _tell_ them to stop. You don’t ask because it’s non-optional. For whatever reason, whether you weren’t enjoying it, you were uncomfortable, you just didn’t _want_ to anymore, you have that right. Your partner will always have that right.”

Mark felt his body warm with embarrassment at the accusation he had thrown. “I’m sorry for that. I mean, I know how consent works, I just- I don’t know.” 

Johnny had smiled then, kind and gentle as ever and slung an arm across the back of the couch, “It’s different knowing it and exercising it. I’m not saying there won’t be people who try and guilt you into continuing, but if there ever is, tell me.”

Mark laughed nervously, “I can handle myself.”

“But there might be a time where you don’t want to and I am willing to be that person.” Johnny’s voice had been so honest and open and comforting that Mark’s body was hovering in the clouds again. 

“See, this is why I’m glad it’s _you_.”

Over the next few years that Mark knew Johnny they had continued to make-out casually. Mark still never found time for a partner and Johnny hadn’t seemed to show any interest in finding one for himself. Mark still hadn’t found the courage to go any further than the occasional orgasmless dry-humping the two would do during especially intense make-outs. Mark felt guilty, but Johnny never seemed to mind.

“You really should get laid, it’s pathetic to see you so flustered over something like exposed skin.” Taeyong said from his spot next to Mark. 

Yuta laughed on the other side of the man, shoving him gently, “Yeah, you act like a Victorian woman seeing a man’s neck for the first time.” 

Mark gave a sarcastic laugh, “Ha-Ha, very funny.” The three of them were sprawled out on the cement tiered bleachers that surrounded the outdoor long-course pool. Johnny had invited Mark to watch, subsequently inviting Yuta and Taeyong, the other two agreeing in order to watch their not-boyfriends get wet and practically naked _together_. 

Mark thought it was ridiculous to be so horny over nothing. 

“Mark, sex is great. You should try it sometime.” Taeyong sang, bumping him as he watched Doyoung climb out of the pool, “Sometimes it’s down right unbelievable.” 

Mark shuddered, face distorting, “Please stop.” 

Yuta laughed, Taeyong’s focus long lost from the two. Doyoung had made eye contact with him and Mark had to look away from the two eye-fucking. “But seriously, Mark, I know this guy named Donghyuck-”

“No,” Mark said flatly, looking at his phone. 

“Okay,” Yuta drawled, “I know this woman named Vivianne-”

“No,” Mark said again, “Stop that. I’m not some hormone crazed sex addict like you two. I’m doing fine on my own.” 

Mark bit into Johnny’s neck from where he was curled into his lap in the front seat of his car just to listen to the older man groan lightly. Johnny’s hair was still wet from the shower he took after practice, chlorine heavy on his skin still. Johnny’s hands held his waist as he grinded against Mark’s thighs. Mark was frotting against Johnny’s lap, the friction enough to drive him crazy but lacking a true end. 

Mark’s mouth detached from his neck and found his lips again, the kiss far more practiced than their first. Mark knew how to move his lips against Johnny’s, knew the angles, knew the perfect amount of teeth and tongue that the other man liked. Johnny’s fingers gripped tighter into Mark’s waist, tee shirt wrinkling. 

When Mark settled his weight backwards, Johnny broke the kiss to gasp, and Mark used the opportunity to speak, “Uh, I think I want to go further.” 

Johnny blinked a couple times, body halting. “Like?”

Mark shrugged, face hot from more than the makeout, “Like, further. I don’t know how much further, but this is just- I want more. If you do, that is.” Mark added quickly. 

Johnny smiled, the same kind one he gave Mark every time any bit of insecurity slipped out. “Of course. Let’s wait till this weekend, though. I have my internship in the morning and it’s getting late.” 

Mark slid off quickly, “Right, right,”

Johnny was still smiling as he drove Mark to Taeyong’s apartment and left him there.

“Hey, where’s your puppy?” Doyoung’s voice came behind Johnny, surprising him internally. Externally he just smiled as his best friend sat down at the worn down picnic table next to him. Jaehyun sat across from the two, chewing thoughtfully on the sandwich he had brought for lunch, dimples creasing every movement, and looking handsome in his staple white tee shirt and jeans look. 

Doyoung was looking nicely put together as usual, despite his outfit just being a graphic black tee shirt tucked into nice jeans, his glasses sliding down his button nose and hiding his pretty black eyes. “Puppy?” Johnny asked, knowing they were referencing Mark but avoiding the topic completely, “I don’t have a puppy. However, where are your two partners?” 

“Not partners,” Doyoung said quickly before taking a gulp of his tea, “Not partners.” 

“I don’t think Yuta wants me to be his partner.” Jaehyun said, frowning as he swallowed his food, “We haven’t really talked about that. He’s kind of avoiding the topic.” 

“It sounds like Doyoung’s avoiding it, too.” Johnny said, voice casual and calm, but curiosity digging deep in his words. Johnny knew Doyoung all too well and his avoidance only meant that he was far more invested than he wanted to let on.

“I’m avoiding nothing. We fuck occasionally.” Doyoung’s tone was terse and forward, expression giving away nothing. 

Jaehyun snorted, “Is that why you’re constantly making googly eyes at each other from across the room?”

“Hey, Jaehyun, maybe focus on your own relationship and the fact that your boyfriend kicks your ass all of the time instead of worrying about who I’m fucking.” Doyoung was quick with his words and Johnny could only watch as the two bickered lovingly. 

“He doesn’t kick my ass, I just let him win in fights to make him feel good.” Jaehyun set his sandwich down, eyes narrowed on Doyoung.

“Right, right,” Doyoung held his hands up, “That time at the party before you fucked wasn’t him kicking your ass in front of everyone. Or that time in the soccer field when their coach almost called the police. Or when he kicked out your legs and put you in a chokehold for shotgun in Johnny’s car.” 

“Or that time you locked him out of Netflix.” Johnny supplied, causing Jaehyun to glare and Doyoung to laugh.

“I let him win in fights _sometimes_. It’s nothing to do with fighting or wanting to win.” Jaehyun grumbled. 

“Ew, is it to decide who tops?” Johnny asked, nose scrunched. 

Jaehyun groaned and flung a piece of lettuce at Johnny, “Don’t ask me things like that! How do you and Mark decide?” 

Johnny felt his blood chilling, though he just laughed, “We don’t have sex. Mark’s not interested like that. We’re just friends, I don’t get why you guys keep prodding.” Johnny wasn’t entirely lying, Mark and he _didn’t_ have sex.

“Really?” Doyoung’s tone was flat and completely disbelieving. 

“Really,” Johnny said, though it was only half true; there was something more than friendship, but nothing close to sex. It was far too confusing for Johnny to even explain to his prying friends.

“Okay,” Jaehyun said slowly, “When was the last time you got laid?” 

Johnny scrunched his face again, “I don’t know, I didn’t mark it on a calendar.”

“Let’s go out this weekend.” Jaehyun suggested boisterously, “The three of us. Let’s go have fun and maybe get Johnny-hyung laid.” 

Johnny made a strange face, pulling an apple slice from his bag, “You guys are a bunch of little weirdos. Why can’t you just be happy you found someone each to deal with your strange personalities and stay out of my sex life?” 

“You’re always involved in ours!” Jaehyun defended, expression slightly offended at his words. 

“Yeah, I’m your _hyung_ , it’s part of the term or something.” Johnny was noncommittal as he attempted to steer the conversation clear of him and Mark. He didn’t know how to explain to them that yes, he and Mark were slightly more than friends, although for the past three years all they’d done was kiss and dry hump until Mark grew too shy to continue. They would _never_ believe him and Mark would _never_ forgive him. 

“That’s absolutely not what that term means.” Doyoung said, expression as baffled as Jaehyun’s. 

“I dunno, I didn’t read the dictionary. Point is, I’m older than you and you both are my little responsibilities to guide in life and be sure you succeed and do well.” Johnny crunched on another apple piece as Doyoung looked at him with an expression that said he _wanted_ to argue, but wasn’t sure how to.

“Weird to say that when you’re fucking a guy younger than me.” Jaehyun said finally and Johnny choked on a piece of the apple. 

“Shut _up_ , Jae.” Johnny’s voice was toneless and Jaehyun’s eyes widened slightly understanding that he’d possibly pushed one too many buttons.

Jaehyun opened his mouth to speak before his attention was caught behind Johnny, quickly brightening, seeming to forget the topic, “Yuta!” He waved suddenly.

Johnny turned to look over his shoulder, the punk rocker swaggering over in black cargo pants and a white tee shirt with red scribblings decorating it, holes exposing skin and a portion of his floral chest tattoo. Following closely behind, as usual, was Taeyong and Mark. Taeyong wore shorts today, black ones that hung just above his knees, and a lightweight zipped up hoodie and wire rim glasses, still somehow managing to look every bit the cartoonishly beautiful man he was. Mark looked like, well, _Mark_. His round glasses framed the shape of his face nicely, a loose fitting black tee shirt and blue jeans being his outfit of choice, a black cap tucking his blonde hair backwards. He looked every bit of a _boyfriend_ aesthetic Johnny could describe. The only problem was he _wasn’t_ his boyfriend, or anyone’s for that matter. 

“Hey, Jae,” Yuta greeted when he approached, smile wide and brilliant. Yuta was a genuinely beautiful soul and it shone through his smile, Johnny thought. “Johnny, Doyoung!” 

Yuta sat next to Doyoung on the end of the bench, inviting himself to their lunchen. Taeyong took the opposite of Yuta and Mark found himself seated across from Johnny. “Nice of you all to join us!” Johnny was being kind, but truly he felt frustrated that his space was so small now, disliking the crowding. He wouldn’t say that, though, the expression Jaehyun wore as he stared at Yuta far _too_ sweet for Johnny to ruin. 

“Mark really wanted to come over here.” Taeyong said, dropping his paper plate of pizza slices he probably nicked from a club meeting, “He was awfully eager, what are you guys doing to him when he finds you? Do you give him treats or something?” 

“He was practically wagging his tail,” Yuta snorted in agreeance. Mark was a blushing mess on the end of the table, looking mortified. 

“Like a puppy!” Jaehyun said, positively beaming at the words. 

“Exactly like a puppy!” Taeyong agreed and Mark whined.

“Johnny, you might want to train him better.” Doyoung said, calmly sipping his tea again.

“But puppies know who their owners are!” Jaehyun was quick to quip and it earned a stifled chortle from Taeyong and Yuta, much to Mark’s obscene horror.

“You guys are heathens, all of you.” Johnny said, though his foot had slid under the table to bump against Mark’s intentionally. Johnny quickly took the second to regain control over the situation, redirecting the attention of the group, “Anyways, Jaehyun why don’t you invite Yuta this weekend.” 

“What’s going on this weekend?” Mark inquired, eyes round and glittery behind his specs and Johnny felt his heart trip on itself. 

“Jaehyun and Doyoung want to go out this weekend. Why don’t you all join us? I think it would be fun. The more the merrier at these kinds of things.” Johnny shrugged, though his eyes were locked with Jaehyun. Johnny had known full well that they wanted it to be a _them_ weekend, however the threat of them attempting to get him laid was still there and he hoped that with the extra people the plan would fall through.

“That sounds fun!” Taeyong’s typically throaty and nasally voice was slightly pitchy, excitement lacing it, “I don’t have any plans!” 

“Neither do Mark and I, we can come.” Yuta agreed, leaving Mark floundering and slightly offended. 

“I can answer for myself, Yuta!” He finally spat out, “What if I don’t want to go?” 

Johnny looked to him, “You don’t have to if you don’t want to. We could hang out and play video games at mine, if you’d like.” _Please_ Johnny attempted to project to Mark through telekinesis, _Say yes_.

Mark shrugged, looking down to the table, denying his pleading, “Nah, I’ll go.”

“Johnny, you _have_ to go, the whole point is to get you laid.” Jaehyun whined, “If you’re not there, what’s the point.” 

“I don’t know, Jae, to have _fun_? Which you should be doing anyways, because I told you to mind your business.”

“Oh!” Taeyong said brightly, “Getting him laid? I can help with that!” Doyoung’s immediate glare towards him was enough to have him stuttering slightly, the intensity surprising even Johnny as the late spring air was growing uncomfortable. “I didn’t mean _me_ fucking him. I just meant that I can help find someone else to.” 

Doyoung nodded, though something in his expression said that he hadn’t let it go yet, “Well, that is the goal afterall, anything helps.” 

Johnny looked to Mark who was avoiding his gaze in favor of staring at Doyoung who had begun eating again. Johnny nudged his foot and Mark finally looked at him and Johnny could _see_ the discomfort. He had hoped the group would drop the idea, but it seemed that they all had agreed on the fact of finding Johnny _someone_. 

This, Johnny thought, was definitely going to change his weekend plans with Mark. 

Something was wrong, _really_ wrong. 

Doyoung and Taeyong weren’t speaking. Johnny had picked up Doyoung first, the man speaking casually as always, occasionally singing to the radio. Johnny wasn’t thrilled about being forced to a club when he would much rather be casually making out with a small indecisive boy for the night, but he figured since he had no choice, might as well have fun. Doyoung seemed calm as usual, laughing with his chest occasionally in a way that made Johnny snicker along with him. Taeyong and Mark were the final stop, Yuta and Jaehyun having gone together themselves.

When Mark had gotten in, he greeted Johnny and Doyoung with his typically chirpy _hey, guys_ , to which Johnny gave him a chin creasing smile over his shoulder and Doyoung a softer and more reserved _hey, Mark_. 

However, when the backseat door behind Doyoung opened and Taeyong slid in, the car dropped several degrees in temperature. Suddenly, the car was suffocating. Johnny glanced between Taeyong in the back and Doyoung in the front and neither would make eye contact. Taeyong’s head was turned to the window when he gave his mumbled _hey_ and Doyoung might as well have been a mannequin in the front seat. 

“Okayyyy,” Johnny drawled, putting the car in reverse, “How about some music?” 

When they arrived at the club, it was no better than the car ride, despite the energetic atmosphere and excitable crowd. Doyoung and Taeyong sat on opposite ends of the booth, sandwiched between their friends and spreading the frostbite to the entire group. Yuta and Jaehyun were seated across from Johnny, Doyoung on the end of the horseshoe shaped booth by Johnny’s elbow and Mark to his otherside, Taeyong squished in the dead-center. When the waitress came and took their orders, the group went uncomfortably silent again. 

It was strange, considering the two had been constantly eye-fucking for ages, that now they wouldn’t even look at one another. 

Johnny felt his chest tighten and he spared a glance to Mark, hoping he could see the apology in his expression. When he spoke, it was reluctantly, “So, you guys want to get me laid? Can’t do that if we are all silently sulking, right?” 

Mark shifted in his seat, slightly uncomfortably and Johnny felt _awful_ , but he still smiled when Jaehyun perked up, “Yeah! Listen, the waitress was kind of hot. Maybe she’s single?” 

Yuta’s stare became heavy with an expression Johnny could only pin down as intense jealousy. The silver-headed punk gave him a solid punch to the bicep, “Let _him_ decide who’s hot. Plus, hitting on wait-staff is rude since they can’t say _no_. Basic fucking respect, Jae.” 

Jaehyun seemed to back down, holding his hands palm up as he stared at his not-boyfriend with doey eyes, “I didn’t mean it like _that_. Just if she made any moves or flirted or something that he should go for it! Anyways,” Jaehyun was quick to turn to Johnny again and push forward, heeding his not-boyfriends warnings, “Johnny I think it’s up to you to decide who you think is _your_ type. Let us know and we can make it happen.”

 _Well, doll-eyed boys with thick thighs and muscular backs that giggle when they kiss and call him_ Johnny-hyung _in English without thinking about it are great_. Johnny couldn’t say that. Instead, he glanced around the club, feigning a search before he shrugged, “Blondes are cute. I like them smaller than me. Maybe with a nice laugh paired with a nice smile.” 

Mark shifted again, not unnoticed by Johnny, but said nothing. Yuta was the next to speak, “Fuck, your tastes are so bland.” 

Johnny laughed fully at his response, his mind turning over the ways that Yuta was unintentionally mocking Mark. “That’s not basic, that’s nice.” Mark defended, “Not everyone is looking for a sadistic freak like you.” 

Yuta grinned wickedly, “Not the virgin talking. Maybe you’d like sadism. You haven’t tried it yet.” 

Mark’s laugh bubbled from his chest nervously and before the boy could respond, the waitress had arrived with the platter of drinks and tater tots. Mark quickly gulped down his fruity drink, asking for another before the waitress had even left. Johnny eyed him cautiously, knowing the poor boy was a lightweight.

Yuta was sipping his gin and tonic when he stopped abruptly and set his drink down, “There,” He hissed, “She’s with a group of friends and _definitely_ looking over here. She also fits your description, Johnny.” 

Johnny glanced over his shoulder, eye catching onto the group of girls immediately. Yuta was right, the blonde fit his description easily; pretty with a nice smile and smaller than him. When she twinkled her fingers flirtatiously, Johnny forced a smile and turned back around to sigh. 

“So?” Jaehyun asked expectantly. 

“So what?” Johnny took another sip of his whiskey, hoping this night could end. 

“So, are you going to talk to her?” Yuta pressed, looking completely bewildered as to why Johnny hadn’t headed over to her yet. 

“Give it time.” Johnny mumbled against his glass. _I need to be drunk enough not to care about the kid sitting next to me, first._ The thought burned deeper than the liquor and he couldn’t have imagined how Mark felt. 

“Sometimes people take too much time,” Taeyong piped up for the first time since arriving, voice sweet but laced with a bitter edge, “And people get tired of waiting, so they move on, and then next thing you know they’re fucking a waiter in their bathtub.”

“What?” Jaehyun asked, attempting to blink the confusion away.

“Don’t let that girl go and fuck a waiter in a bathtub, Johnny, go have her fuck _you_ in the bathtub.” Taeyong was flushed, hands gripping his cup firmly. Johnny glanced to Mark who was looking at his best friend, Yuta mirroring Mark’s expression. Doyoung stood without a word and disappeared into the crowd, leaving Johnny and Jaehyun gaping after him. 

“Pussy,” Taeyong spat when he had left, “Can’t even admit to the shit he’s done.” 

There was a long, awkward silence between the group before Jaehyun spoke, “I thought you weren’t in a relationship?” 

With those words Taeyong froze, fingers that had turned to ripping the napkin in front of him pausing. It took him a second before he kissed his teeth and set his hands down roughly, “No, I guess we aren’t in a relationship.” 

“Oh, for fucks sake, Taeyong, don’t ruin this with pettiness.” Yuta chastised suddenly, “If you let him go, you’re going to regret it. I don’t know what happened, but go talk to him. Right now. Tonight was supposed to be fun and you’re ruining it with this. If you two aren’t in a relationship, he has every right to sleep with other people.”

“Then why do you threaten Jaehyun into not sleeping with other people when _you’re_ not together either?” Taeyong shot back, his eyes glazing slightly. Johnny had never seen him so worked up, so frustrated. He was surprised to see the usually sweet and mild man so explosive. 

“Because he’s _mine_.” Yuta’s voice was sharp, feeling like a slap to Johnny’s skin and it seemed as though it had a similar effect on Jaehyun, the man blushing to his ears and eyes darkening.

“And Doyoung’s _mine_.” Taeyong stressed, though his voice was higher, cracks filling the words, and Johnny was surprised to see the anger crumbling into bone crushing sadness. 

“Does he know that?” Johnny asked finally, “Have you told him that?” 

Taeyong’s eyes were wet as his eyelashes began to clump and Johnny felt his heartstrings being plucked. “N-No, but I thought he just knew.” 

“And that’s the difference between you and Doyoung and Jaehyun and I,” Yuta’s voice was firm, but kinder now, though it still deepened Taeyong’s expression, “I’ve let Jaehyun know explicitly that he’s off-limits.” Jaehyun looked sheepish next to Yuta, smiling shyly with petal pink ears. Jaehyun could occasionally be the cutest person in the room and Yuta seemed to know how to draw it from him. He could admire that between the two.

“Doyoungie likes verbal affirmation,” Johnny added softly, reaching a hand across Mark to set it on Taeyong’s gently. He played with his knuckles as he spoke, reassuring the man, “He likes to hear praises and how much he’s needed and wanted. He’s got a lot of insecurities and he _never_ shows them.”

“Yeah,” Jaehyun agreed, dimples concaving further with his softened expression, “He talks a big game of not needing anyone and how he’s fine on his own, but Doyoung really likes to be praised and loved and he gets scared when that’s missing. You have to feed the bunny with love and attention in order for it to remain happy.”

“But you can’t do it too directly,” Johnny added quickly, “If you start praising him he gets shy and thinks you’re teasing him. Small affirmations that you want him around. Like, say, I don’t know, asking him to be your boyfriend again?” 

Taeyong looked between the two before he got lost in the tabletop wood patterns. Johnny looked to Mark again, finding him to be staring at him. “Jaehyun was right,” Mark said quietly, “No relationship, no obligation.”

Johnny shook his head and bumped his knee into Mark’s, “No thanks,” He made licked his bottom lip, contemplating his answer before ducking the slightest bit closer to Mark, head tilted so the others could barely see his mouth as he spoke in English, “I prefer to savor it. The longer the time, the sweeter the wine.” 

On cue, Mark’s face heated into a pretty pink that had Johnny beaming in pride. When he glanced up, he caught Yuta’s eye and the two held a gaze for a beat longer than they should have, but Taeyong interrupted quickly. “I gotta go find him.” 

“He hides in bathrooms to cry,” Jaehyun said before sliding out of the booth, Yuta following quickly. With a quick word of thanks, Taeyong disappeared into the crowd. The silence that fell over the table after his departure wasn’t _awkward_ , but it certainly wasn’t _comfortable_.

“Anyways,” Jaehyun drawled after the smaller group had listened to a full song without a word passed between them, “Johnny. Those girls. Yes or no?’

“No,” Johnny shrugged, “I didn’t really notice them, honestly.” The lie didn’t taste as bitter as it once had.

“Well, that sucks because they’re coming over.” Jaehyun said, then smiled brightly as Johnny bristled. 

There was a presence at his elbow in the next breath, arrival preceded by a cloud of daisy perfume. It wasn’t unpleasant and neither was she, but Johnny wasn’t interested despite her best attempts. Mark was uncomfortable next to him, shifting occasionally as he avoided looking directly at _anyone_. By the third time he politely declined, explaining he didn’t want to leave his friend alone with a couple and make him the third wheel, the dark hair woman that accompanied the blonde, spoke, “Well, if you’re so concerned, bring him with.” 

There was a sudden shot of protectiveness that lit Johnny’s chest on fire. Mark was _not_ heading into the crowd or off privately with a stranger, one who wouldn’t treat him on his terms, or worse would make him feel _ashamed_. Johnny’s smile fell and the women realized it a beat too late, “I’m sorry. You both are lovely, but I’m going to have to firmly decline.”

It took a second for his words to sink in above the heavy bass and general crowd noise, but when it did, there was the glimmer of a hissy fit in the brunette’s eyes before the blonde dragged her away, looking oddly embarrassed. Johnny felt slightly guilty, but he couldn’t put Mark in an even worse situation than he was currently in. 

Jaehyun stared at him with the strangest expression, Yuta watching the entire exchange silently as well. When Johnny met his eyes and gave him a jerky shrug, one that read as _the fuck are you staring at_ , all Jaehyun could say was, “Dude.” 

Mark was at Johnny’s house again for the night. The two were laying silently in the same bed, something not foreign to them as friends but vastly uncharted as lovers. “Dude, you should’ve gone home with her.” Mark repeated for the millionth time that night. 

Johnny sighed, rolling over and tugging his panda plushie to his chest. “I didn’t want to. Wrong kind of blonde. I prefer the blonde to be fake.”

“Stop that,” Mark scowled, not looking at him, “I’m serious, you could’ve been getting laid-”

“Why is everyone so concerned about my sex life, constantly? There’s more to life than sticking your dick in _people_ or having a dick stuck in _you_. I’m content with what I have and I don’t want to go hunting for conquests.” Johnny wasn’t sure why he was so defensive, but the constant topic was frustrating to deal with and Mark seemed to sit on that answer for a bit. 

“You’re content with what you have?” Mark’s voice was soft now, nearly meek. Johnny was certain if he had breathed when Mark spoke, he wouldn’t have heard him.

“Yeah,” Johnny said, chest heavy, “Why are you so surprised about that?” 

“All we do is kiss,” There was a grumble to his voice, one that sounded oddly childish, “How could that be enough?”

“Is it not enough for you?” When Mark didn’t answer, Johnny rolled onto his side, though Mark still refused to meet his gaze. “Is it not?” When the silence stretched on, Johnny took the moment to scoot closer, close enough that his thigh brushed Mark’s and he could feel the warmth coming off of the boy. “If it wasn’t enough you could have said.” 

“I _did_ say,” Mark snapped, the remnants of alcohol running through his system making his tongue a little more honest than normal, “I wanted to try something _else_ this weekend, but then we did _that_ instead.” 

Johnny laughed lightly, though it wasn’t from humor, the sound slightly tired and jaded, “Yeah, that was pretty shit, huh? Well, tell you what- we’re here now. I’m not really tired. My friends all wanted me to get some tonight. I can still fulfill that.” 

Mark didn’t say anything, but Johnny took that as his cue. He shoved the panda onto Mark’s chest, distracting his hands when he wiggled flush against him, draping a leg over his hips and ducking his head into his shoulder. Johnny took his time licking the skin, marking pink spots into soft flesh, treating every freckle and mole that he knew of to a soft kiss. They were in the dark, lit only by the bleached light of a moon that was just under a waxing half. The hand not curled under Johnny’s head for support roamed freely over Mark’s clothed abdomen, messing with the hem of his shirt and pajamas, snapping the elastic of his underwear occasionally. Mark’s hands fidgeted on the panda, hips occasionally twitching as his breathing went from stable to uneven to panting from the shift in mood.

Johnny could feel him getting into it, could feel the hardness slowly pressing into the thigh that laid across him, and the thought made him grin. Finally, he kissed Mark’s cheek softly as his fingers dipped below the line of his pants. Mark’s jaw slackened as Johnny worked him over, a foreign hand wrapped around his cock for the first time. The movements were frictionous, the only slickness from Mark’s precum, but Johnny’s grasp was light enough to lack the painful sort of drag. Mark’s hips chased his hand every time it withdrew and he could _feel_ the grin Johnny was wearing against his neck.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Mark nearly choked on his spit as he scrambled against the panda, trying to anchor himself to the real world, “Why didn’t I let you do this sooner?” 

“Is this where you want to stop tonight?” Johnny replied instead, kissing his cheeks softly as his fingers massaged the damp, spongy head, leaving Mark writhing and biting at the panda momentarily. There was something incredibly _satisfying_ about knowing no one else had ever done this, that he was the _first_. There was a lingering sort of protectiveness, possessiveness, to his actions, his chest full of the _pride_ he felt. This was _his_. _Mark_ was _his_.

“Wh-what else is there?” Mark finally was able to cough out after Johnny had gone back to relaxedly pumping him in a loose grasp, “Besides, like, full on sex.”

“I could give you head.” Johnny offered and was suddenly frustrated he hadn’t turned on the lights beforehand. There was a nagging irritation that he couldn’t see the blush inevitably painting Mark’s cheeks, or how wet his eyes were, or the spit bitten lips, or what it would look like when he came from _Johnny_ for the first time. He would have to settle for washed out moonlight and the silhouettes for now. 

“Okay,” Mark finally agreed, “Let’s try that.”

Johnny’s heart stuttered and he groaned against Mark’s skin, something slightly primal rising to the surface. Johnny had thought about it for many years- Mark was _healthy_ , incredibly so. He rarely ate junk food, drank a lot of water, and had a large fruit intake- Johnny had thought _extensively_ on the fact that Mark probably tasted _amazing_. He withdrew from the smaller man entirely, leaving him whimpering slightly which undoubtedly embarrassed him, but made Johnny smile slightly. He shifted onto his knees and gently encouraged Mark to roll to his back, the younger doing it hesitantly. 

Johnny took small movements to pull his pants down and to climb between his legs. He thought for a moment about how it was probably a smart thing that the lights were off, Mark far less shy than he would have been if he had been entirely visible. Johnny crawled off of the bed to adjust the two so they were horizontal across it now. Mark let him adjust him, let him shift his hips underneath him and bend his knees. Mark was entirely pliable under Johnny’s hands and it felt _addictive_. 

“Let me know if you want to stop.” Johnny’s voice had gone slightly hoarse and there was a plea lost somewhere in his words, _please don’t ask me to stop_.

Johnny watched Mark nod his head, staring up at him in the dark. Johnny wanted so badly to be able to see what kind of a mess Mark was in that moment but he accepted the darkness and shuffled onto his stomach. Johnny was too tall to lay on the bed comfortably and still give Mark head, so he settled for kneeling on the ground and tugging the younger to the edge. Mark was folded with his heels to his thighs and the panda still clutched to his chest, obscuring Johnny’s view of his upper body and head. Johnny also thought that was to block himself from Mark’s view, the younger probably overwhelmed, which sent another bolt of heat through his bloodstream.

Johnny kissed his thigh, grinning when the toned muscles jumped and Mark’s breath caught in his chest. Johnny continued, pressing soft kisses to soft skin soaking up the soft noises that escaped through Mark’s teeth. The moment his lips pressed against the juncture of his hip, Mark’s body twitched violently, nearly a spasm, and a noise caught in his throat. 

“Should I stop?” Johnny asked, breath humid against the fragile, untouched skin. It was a serious question, though there was little doubt in his mind as to what Mark’s response would be.

“I think I would _cry_.” Mark wheezed, the tint of a laugh coating his words and making Johnny’s muscles melt, his heart fluttering slightly at the tone. Mark held such an undisclosed power over him, one he wasn’t sure he wanted to address, considering the terms of their situation. 

When Johnny’s tongue flicked over his shaft the first time, he almost thought he _did_ start crying. Johnny’s tongue was hot and wet and so tentative that Mark felt the frustration boiling his blood. Johnny’s tongue flicked at the soft spot under the head and Mark’s knees tried to come together on reflex, but Johnny simply held them open in a gentle grasp. Mark’s head was swimming, the room blurry as his eyelashes clung together, the feeling of Johnny’s spit slowly mixing with the cum leaking out of him was almost overwhelming, to say the least. When Johnny’s mouth finally took him in it made sense to Mark as to why Taeyong was always trying to stuff his dick in any warm hole he could find. Johnny’s mouth was positively _heaven_. The inside of his mouth was so different from the feeling of fucking his hand: his plush lips were so smooth and wrapped firmly around him, heat much stronger than any palm could ever hope to be, none of the friction from a hand, even one covered in lube.

Then there was his _tongue_.

Johnny’s tongue flickered along the underneath and the sensation of being half buried in wet heat combined with the light pattern tracing he was doing was going to send Mark into a fit if he wasn’t careful. His body was twitching almost uncontrollably now, pitchy groans clambering from collapsed lungs. He felt so _high_ , his body not his own. There were too many feelings, too many sensations, and the only thing he had to ground himself was the panda plushie doused in vanilla musk cologne and chlorine, along with the feeling of Johnny’s fingers massaging his thighs. 

Johnny could feel Mark falling apart, could practically see every spiderwebbing crack as he began trembling and gasping wetly, mouth occasionally biting onto the plushie. Johnny let one hand move down to gently fondle his balls as he bobbed his head slowly but rhythmically. Johnny was certain that Mark wouldn’t be able to take a relentless pace, wouldn’t be able to handle fucking his throat right now. Mark needed a softer introduction and Johnny was more than willing to provide.

Johnny moved the fingers from his balls to pressing gently into his perineum, applying a light pressure and massaging the sensitive area. Mark’s head whipped on the bed, incoherent words falling out of his mouth in a garbled mess of Korean and English as his voice caught on every other syllable. He was hot, _so hot_ underneath Johnny’s hands, body catching fire as he slowly unravelled.

Johnny hadn’t felt this powerful in a _very_ long time. He had almost forgotten how good it felt to turn someone into putty beneath him, almost forgot how deliciously addictive hearing the whining and whimpering was. Johnny hadn’t ever taken his time with someone like this before, hadn’t let the frustration build until it was ready to overfill. He hadn’t let someone take the reins like this before, but now, in this moment, he wasn’t minding a single bit. His knees were sore against the hardwood, inevitably bruising lightly for the next few days, his jaw sore and undoubtedly would be tender in the morning. He _loved_ it, loved the _idea_ of it.

“Johnny,” Mark stuttered after a moment, “Johnny, stop,”

A jolt of panic startled him from the moment and Johnny let his cock slip between his lips, flopping with a wet smack against his stomach, and dropping his hands from him completely, “What’s wrong?” His voice was slightly hoarse and tight, strung out in the same way Mark was, walking the tightrope hanging above the ocean.

There was a brief second before Mark spoke again, voice small and muffled against the panda, “I was going to cum.”

Johnny breathed out heavily, tension melting, “Christ, Mark, I thought something was wrong.” Mark mumbled an apology but Johnny just patted his thigh, “Are you done? Do you not want to finish? We can stop here if you want to.” Despite the urge to keep going until he could swallow everything Mark had to offer, the youngers comfort outweighed his lust. 

There was a shuffling noise before Mark seemed to realize Johnny couldn’t see him and spoke, “No,” His voice was breathless and throaty, heading straight for Johnny’s dick, “I just- I didn’t want to- y’know-”

“Cum in my mouth?” Johnny supplied, the thought making him twitch in his pants, reminding himself he too was ridiculously hard. Mark made a shy noise at Johnny’s words making him laugh slightly, “What if I said I wanted it?” 

“What?” Mark squeaked, shooting upwards. He folded awkwardly, spine curving instead of his hips bending as he stared at Johnny between his legs in the dark.

Johnny shrugged, a coy expression on his face, one he hoped was visible through his tone of voice, “Yeah,” It was so casual, so smooth, Johnny almost gave the impression of talking about the weather. He let one of his freed hands slide over his crotch, palming himself for a moment, “Yeah, I’ve thought about it a lot. The idea of giving you head has always been at the forefront of my mind. I always thought about how you’d probably be a wiggling mess, whiny and needy. What you’d sound like when you were too close, what you’d sound like as you came. I always thought your cock would taste good and I was _right_ , but I also thought your cum would be delicious.” Johnny’s voice had gone heady and airy towards the end, his own hips moving uncontrollably against his palm as he fondled himself to the barely visible sight before him. 

Mark made a strangled noise and fell backwards with a half formed plea for help slipping between his lips. Johnny’s mouth was back on him in an instant as soon as the begging began and he was working with the same slow pace as before, bobbing gently, tongue swirling, though this time his hand found his own cock and stroked himself in time with his head movements. Mark was shaking now, torso wiggling, as his toes curled into the edge of the bed. His voice was deep in his chest but also creeping through his nose and Johnny had never heard someone sound like _that_ before. 

Johnny departed from Mark momentarily to take care of himself, mumbling incredibly filthy things against the warmth of Mark’s thigh. His eyes had closed as his forehead pressed into Mark’s knee, his voice leaving his chest in heavy breaths and desperate words, his mind far gone from the moment. “You have no idea how fuckable you always look, there’s been so many times where I’ve just wanted to make you cum in your pants under a table or herd you into the bathroom and fuck you till you’re crying and everyone can hear. You’re so fucking _addictive_ and the fact that I’m the first one to touch you? To ruin you? To make you cry like this? To make you feel this _good_?” Mark seemed to be just as affected by his words, squirming further and voicing whiney pleas, but they fell on ignorant ears as Johnny bit at his thigh and his hips jerked up into his palm, “You’re going to make me cum, fuck.” 

With that Mark sounded as though he had begun to _cry_ , a hiccup stuttering his breathing as he spread his thighs. Johnny took him back into his mouth as it was all he could do to maintain his own sanity. Within a few more strokes, Johnny was orgasming, groaning deeply around Mark’s cock, drool sliding down into the dark bundle of pubes decorating his groin. It took Mark only a few more bobs of Johnny’s head, clinging to the plushie still, as his hips began to meet Johnny’s mouth before he was finally cumming with a deep groan and several pathetic sobs. 

Johnny had been right, he tasted _incredible_.

“So,” Taeyong started as the trio sat under the afternoon sun, “You went home with Johnny the other night.” 

It was four days after the night at the club, four days since Taeyong and Doyoung had disappeared together, four days since the group had ended the night awfully early, four days since Mark had watched Johnny swallow his cum and then tasted himself on his lips. Mark hadn’t seen Johnny since then, feeling unusually shy around the older man since. He had bolted the next morning muttering something about a 9am class to which Johnny said it was Sunday and Mark had lied about a club meeting. 

Four days.

Mark was feeling awfully guilty. “Yeah,” He said slowly looking to his lockscreen momentarily. He found himself looking at his lockscreen a lot more often nowadays, the disappointment of an empty notification list pulling on his heart in a strange way. He knew who he was expecting to see, but he refused to actually admit it to himself, instead just distractedly staring at the old _Halo 4 Spartan_ fanart he’d had for years- the one he had framed in his room, the one Johnny had commissioned for his birthday one year. He looked away from his phone. “Just like I usually do when we go clubbing.” 

“Are you sure there’s nothing going on between you two?” Yuta asked slowly, sipping on his soda, expression careful but inquisitive, “He was awfully invested in you at the club.” 

“Why do you two care, anyways?” Mark asked, setting his phone face down finally. He hated not seeing Johnny’s name pop up with a text message about something goofy, hated knowing that he had hurt his feelings that morning, hated knowing that he _didn’t_ know how to fix this.

Taeyong shrugged, the atmosphere suddenly uncomfortable at that moment. The sun was heating their skin and the table and Mark knew that classes were coming to a close and soon it would be unbearable to be sitting outside like this, though the discomfort he felt now didn’t come from the sunrays. “We’re your friends,” Taeyong finally spoke, “I worry about you.” 

“Taeyong, you used to sleep around with _everyone_ and I never complained or lectured _you_.” Mark was frustrated, though it wasn’t truly aimed at his friends, but the tone carried in his voice regardless, “I just want some things private, is that too much to ask? Johnny is a nice guy and a good friend and I just want to be able to be around him without it being awkward.” 

Taeyong was blinking owlishly, looking as though he were attempting to process what Mark had said, but it was Yuta who spoke next, “So, you have feelings for him?” 

“What?” Mark squeaked, “No, no, no, not _feelings_. He’s just a good friend is all.” 

“Then what would be so awkward?” Taeyong finally asked and Mark was stumped. He had no response to the questions thrown at him. What would make it awkward? The fact that he ran away after having the best orgasm he’d ever experienced? The fact that Johnny treated him so delicately that he could almost believe he had feelings for him? The fact that Mark was unintentionally developing feelings in a way he hadn’t thought he would? Or maybe the fact that Johnny _didn’t_ share those feelings and was only after his virginity? Mark didn’t know which was the _answer_ , which would be the cause of the awkwardness, but he knew with any of those questions came the result.

“I just don’t want to ruin our friendship.” Mark finally answered and that wasn’t a lie, though it hardly touched the surface of their inquiries. Taeyong and Yuta gave him a sad look, borderlining pitiful, as they seemed to understand his thought process, before they moved the conversation onto Doyoung and Taeyong. 

“Dude, why are you looking so,” Jaehyun paused, voice higher than normal as he studied his best friend and gave him a few non-committal gestures from the connected dining room of the open plan apartment. Johnny wasn’t sure what the gestures actually meant but he was certain it was something along the lines of _pathetic_ and _mopey_.

Johnny was sprawled out on Jaehyun and Doyoung’s couch, lounging pathetically in his sweatpants and tired tee shirt. Doyoung was in the high back matching chair across the room, legs folded as he read a book that Johnny was unfamiliar with. Doyoung looked over the edge of the book and the lip of his glasses, an eyebrow raising under his flat bangs as he snorted, “Like you just got dumped?”

Johnny pouted looking over to Doyoung, “That’s not nice to say to me. Besides, I don’t look like I got dumped, I’m just sitting on a couch. You guys read very far into things, you know that?” 

“Sounds like projection,” Jaehyun sang, coming over to sit on the couch by Johnny’s feet. 

“What you’re doing? Yeah, you’re right.” Johnny sat up against the arm rest so his legs weren’t taking up the majority of the three seater couch and then some. 

“Weak,” Doyoung commented behind the book, eyes back on the pages but attention fully on Johnny, “That’s unusual for you. Not to mention the fact that the word Jaehyun was looking for was _deflection_ and you usually would call him on that. What’s up?” Doyoung pointedly ignored Jaehyun’s teasing expressions as he decided to focus solely on the eldest.

Johnny groaned knowing full well that his friends were always able to see through him. Jaehyun patted his calves kindly after finishing his mini tantrum, dimples creasing his peachy cheeks once again in a way that made Johnny roll his eyes. There would be prying from the youngest and he knew it was unavoidable, “Johnny just tell us what’s bothering you, we’re your friends! You’re supposed to ask us for help.”

Johnny wanted to deny them, wanted to put it off again. Johnny was good at having his shield, good at deflecting and avoiding topics. He was incredibly good at keeping things to himself and figuring out his problems on his own. Johnny was good at faking smiles and being polite to even the people he couldn’t stand. Johnny was good at pretending. That thought left him to wonder if he wanted to be, though, if he wanted to continue living his life behind a plastic mask in order to maintain a forceful privacy.

“Okay, fine,” He said suddenly, surprising both Doyoung and Jaehyun. Doyoung put his book down on his lap, attention suddenly on the older man openly, “Let’s say that I’ve had feelings for someone for a long time. Let’s say that they fit my type perfectly and that I’m comfortable around them and with them. Let’s say that they’re skittish and shy and I know this and I _like_ this and I give them the space they want and let everything move at their pace. Let’s say I do all of this and yet somehow still get left on read. Let’s say I’m not mad, but more sad than anything. Let’s say I don’t know how to fix this because I don’t know what went wrong.” 

Jaehyun looked completely blank as though he were trying to process the story through all of the hypotheticals that Johnny had thrown in. Doyoung, however, just nodded slowly. “Well, in this hypothetical situation, are you this person's first for something?” 

“First for _everything_.” Johnny breathed heavily. He shouldn’t be airing this out, he shouldn’t be speaking about Mark, he shouldn’t be telling anyone this, but for the first time in his life he didn’t know what to do. Johnny always had everything figured out, had everything under control and was able to maintain situations. This, however, was completely uncharted. He knew _nothing_ despite knowing _everything_. 

“I see,” Doyoung nodded, fingers tapping on the book in his lap, “Well, maybe they are just overwhelmed at the moment. Whatever happened in that story might have been a lot and they need to process. You know this. It’s not personal.”

Johnny groaned and let his head flop against the couch, “But what if it _is_? And what if they want me to come after them?” 

“This isn’t a romance movie,” Jaehyun interjected finally, seeming to have caught up, “In the movies chasing after them is romantic and poetic and shows your undying devotion. In real life it’s overbearing and pushy and makes people uncomfortable.”

Johnny just let himself lay against the side of the couch, slightly wilted looking like a plucked flower. Doyoung gave him a soft smile, one that was empathetic. “What if I miss him?” Johnny mumbled, picking at his pants unconsciously as he looked at his lap. 

“Give him time.” Doyoung said softly, “It’ll work out.” 

Three weeks. Classes ended and Johnny was slightly grateful for the distraction of finals as he didn’t have to focus on Mark. It took three weeks before Mark sent Johnny a meme as a way to open the door of contact once again and Johnny took the bait immediately. It took them another week before they saw each other in person and Johnny thought it was going to be awkward, but as usual, he was good at being in control, good at handling every situation. He treated Mark as though they had never done _anything_. He treated Mark like he was a little brother, a good friend, someone he had just shared many interests with and had fun spending time with. He didn’t let the silences feel heavy and he didn’t let Mark feel uncomfortable. By the end of the night when Johnny dropped Mark back off at the apartment that he now shared with Yuta, everything fell back into a new normal. 

A normal where Johnny was just a friend.

Summer came quickly this year and by early July the temperatures were sweltering and the air was thick in humidity. It was Johnny’s idea to travel to Jeju for a week, the six renting a cottage together. Mark hadn’t agreed at first- Jeju was _hot_ and probably _crowded_ and definitely too _rural_ , but it only took a sunbeam smile from Johnny to get him to agree. 

Mark and he had had a strange relationship since Johnny blew him. It wasn’t uncomfortable but it was so vastly different to what they had had at one point that Mark almost wasn’t sure how to navigate it. Johnny and he laughed and joked and spent days together having fun, that much hadn’t changed. The difference now, though, was there was no making out in his car, no cuddling in the dark, no stolen kisses in between trading off gaming turns. Johnny treated Mark as he treated every friend: warmly, but at arms length.

Mark had never noticed it before and he wasn’t sure anyone else had, but Johnny kept everyone at least two feet outside of his personal self, a layer of glass between him and everyone else- transparent but a barrier nonetheless. Mark wasn’t sure he would have noticed had he not been privy to being inside of the glass case at one point, wasn’t sure he would be able to tell the signs if he hadn’t. It was there, though, and Mark didn’t like it. 

He missed feeling close to Johnny, genuinely close. He didn’t just like being around Johnny because of the kissing, but also because he had admired the man; he admired the way Johnny carried himself with unwavering confidence, admired his ease at talking to people, admired the way that Johnny seemed to be able to fit in everywhere he went. Mark admired his work ethics and his swimming. He admired his patience and his morals. He admired a lot about Johnny. Now, though, it felt like he barely knew him. 

Mark wasn’t sure how to get back to where they were, wasn’t sure how to initiate anything again, wasn’t sure Johnny even _wanted_ them to. 

So Mark didn’t.

Instead, the six of them spent a week in Jeju, swimming and hiking and then swimming some more. They spent time wandering the islands and visiting shops, beach combing and biking. They spent time as a group and it felt _nice_. Mark had blocked out the nights and mornings and the occasional afternoon where he had buried his head under the pillows to ignore the housemates fucking. _That_ he thought, hadn’t been nice. Typically it would be uncomfortable and awkward, but nowadays it was just frustrating because _he_ was not in the position to be receiving such a pleasure.

Mark was envious.

By the time they had returned to their regular life, Johnny was three shades darker and ten times more frustrated. Mark and he still were an awkward distance apart, nothing ever truly falling back into place after it got disjointed. The others had noticed, Doyoung and Jaehyun had even attempted to ask him about it, but all Johnny could do was grin bitterly and say _I’m giving him time_. 

August came quicker than expected and Mark’s birthday party had to be arranged. Johnny, Yuta, and Taeyong wanted to make it something special as the boy was turning twenty-two and they thought for some reason that year should be memorable. Johnny remembered turning twenty-two and all he did was get black out drunk and send horribly indecipherable messages to his friends. Still, he supposed that was why they wanted to throw him a grand gesture as a way to relive the youth they had missed. Johnny didn’t mind, he loved arranging parties and events, loved entertaining people he had no care for, loved grand gestures and meaningless smiles. Johnny was the perfect host, just egotistical enough to be charming and just distant enough to be friendly. 

Johnny loved hosting.

They planned it to be a night event as the days were far too scorching, the party being held at Johnny’s house. The whole group set up refreshments and banners and party games. Johnny made a large dispenser of jungle juice that was probably too strong for the event but he couldn’t find it in himself to mind. By the time guests started arriving, the sun was sinking below a violet horizon and he could feel the plastic smile break his skin as he plastered it on. 

Mark arrived thirty minutes in, a boy of a man with caramel skin and curly silver hair trailing him with a wide smile and shiny dark eyes. When Mark introduced them it was with a strange smile. _Donghyuck_ he had introduced the boy as, to which he earned a scoff. _I prefer Haechan_. 

When Haechan disappeared into the kitchen for a drink, a bounce in his step and a grin on his mouth, Johnny had turned to Mark with a raised eyebrow, “A new friend?” 

“A date.” Mark replied awkwardly, fingers hanging from his belt loops as he raised his shoulders tightly.

“Oh.”

Johnny spent the better half of the night drinking, Mark had watched from across the room. Haechan was a nice guy, a friend of Yuta’s. The two had met accidentally at soccer practice when Haechan showed an interest in the team. They worked well together, Mark thought, but Haechan was lacking _something_ that kept him distracted the whole night.

Maybe it was a stupid idea bringing a date to his birthday party, one being hosted by his ex-fuck buddy and best friends. He hadn’t thought the whole thing through. Mark tried to make the most out of the night, though, sipping on a plastic cup of alcohol that made him choke as Haechan told silly stories that made him laugh. 

Yeah, he could see himself hanging around Donghyuck a lot, but he couldn’t imagine it going any further than where they were tonight.

Unconsciously, he scanned the room for Johnny again. 

Johnny had found a woman- she was blonde, shorter than him, and had a pretty enough smile that tasted like strawberry lip gloss. When she had broken the kiss downstairs and asked if Johnny wanted to move it upstairs, he had said yes. He hadn’t let her in his room, though, the spare bedroom being as far as he would take her. He didn’t know her name, unsure if he even asked and if she had said it, he hadn’t listened. He didn’t particularly care about her name at this point. She was soft under his hands, responsive in the normal ways. She wasn’t a bad kisser and she wasn’t a bad personality. She just wasn’t what he was looking for. 

But she would do.

Mark had seen them disappear up the stairs together. 

Maybe Haechan would have to suffice.

Johnny woke up the next morning with a throbbing head, regret and a hangover making him sick. The blonde had left and he was thankful, hoping to not have to have the awkward conversation in the morning where he asked her to leave because she wasn’t _him_. It took him a while to crawl from the spare room's bed, hunting for his pants to find his phone. At some point he had slipped his boxers back on, so surely his pants must be nearby. He found them finally underneath the bed and dug his phone from the pocket. 

His heart sank at the list of notifications for messages from Doyoung.

_[Doyoungie 11:27pm] dude pls tell me you didn't actually go off with that chick._  
_[Doyoungie 11:39 pm] oh you fucking idiot._  
_[Doyoungie 11:59pm] make it quick, Mark’s not doing well._  
_12:03am (3)Missed calls from Doyoungie_  
_[Doyoungie 12:10am] Mark’s crying, now would be a great time for you to wrap it up and come back down._  
_[Doyoungie 12:23am] Taeyong took Mark home._  
_[Doyoungie 12:25am] this isn’t really my place but you should really go check on him tomorrow hhh_

Johnny rushed to the bathroom barely making it to the toilet before he was sick. _Fuck_ he thought as he squeezed his eyes shut against the sick and sweat, he really managed to fuck up this time.

Last night was a blur for Mark. He remembered arriving, he remembered seeing Johnny, he remembered playing beer pong with Haechan, and he remembered seeing Johnny disappear upstairs with some pretty blonde girl in a black dress. He remembered Johnny not coming back down and he remembered that bothering him to the point of tears that even Taeyong couldn’t shush him out of. Everything from there was kind of blurry, completely discombobulated and nonsensical as drunken escapades typically were. 

Now, though, he was laying hung over in his bed, wishing the room would stop spinning and that he could go back three years and just never meet Johnny. He wished he could have stopped himself from going to that stupid cafe and just avoided the situation all together. Instead, here he was laying in his bed as he tried not to be sick, covered in sweat from the heat and grime from the party. He’d have to change his sheets today, he thought absently. 

When he was finally able to pry himself from the sheets without feeling like his bones were brittle enough to shatter, he found a text from a heart-wrenchingly familiar contact, the one he both wanted to see and wanted to delete.

_[Bigfoot 10:48am] Hey, I think we have some things we need to talk about. Can we meet up this evening?_

Mark shouldn’t have agreed. Everything in him was saying _not_ to agree, but he still found himself sitting at the cafe they had met at. The atmosphere here was nice, the walls stone and the furniture wood and black iron and the jazz playing over the speakers added to the soft ambiance. Mark should’ve felt comfortable, but instead he felt fidgety and restless, body unable to sit still as he sat in the chair in the corner by the window. He had dressed casually as usual, black basketball shorts and a white tee shirt, a red cap pulling his blonde hair back and specs on. Mark had already ordered his and Johnny’s favorites, the drinks sitting untouched on the table as Johnny had yet to arrive.

Mark checked his phone. No notifications and he was five minutes late. 

Mark bit his lip.

Ten minutes late and no notifications. 

Mark watched as the ice in his drink shifted, slowly melting, condensation sweating onto the table.

Fifteen minutes late and no notifications. 

Mark’s eyes were burning, tears building in his eyes and a weight building in his chest. This was fucking _awful_. Memories of last night had begun to surface, the feeling of his heart ripping while watching Johnny take a woman to bed. It fucking _hurt_ , that confirmation that Johnny was sick of waiting for him. He had _assumed_ Johnny was tired of waiting for him, but the final confirmation was enough to make him sick.

Still, he found himself fidgeting awkwardly in a cafe, waiting for an older man that was clearly standing him up. 

After twenty-five minutes and no notifications or signs of Johnny, Mark was ready to call it. As he was preparing to throw away the untouched drinks, the doorbell rang and caught his attention. 

_Johnny_.

He looked handsome, dressed nicely in black slacks and a nice but casual tee shirt, a gold necklace falling between his covered collarbones. His hair was brushed back and despite the darkness under his eyes, he looked _good_. It made Mark feel woozy and ill again. 

Johnny smiled, but it was wet and tasted like something _sad_. Mark couldn’t believe it felt like autumn in August. 

He sat back down and passed Johnny his drink with a mumbled apology. There was silence, the jazz no longer comforting but necessary for his sanity. 

It was Johnny who spoke first, “I’m sorry,” He said finally, but Mark didn’t look at him, “I’m sorry for everything, Mark.”

_That_ hurt. The idea that Johnny was apologizing for everything they’d ever done, apologizing for the connection they had had- that hurt more than anything else Johnny had done thus far and Mark couldn’t stop the stinging of his eyes. He fell into English, “It’s fine, we can just go back to being bros, y’know?” 

Johnny shook his head and his hand reached across the table to gently brush against the one Mark used to hold his drink. Mark wanted to flinch away but there was a horrible need for contact with the older man that held him there. “I don’t want that.” Johnny said softly, “I’ve tried to give you space, I’ve given you all summer, I thought I could handle it, but Mark I don’t want to be your _bro_.” 

“I guess I can avoid you, but it’s kind of hard. I’ll try, though.” Mark’s voice cracked and he tried to ignore it, coughing deeply behind his fist. 

“Will you stop that?” Johnny asked suddenly, “I’m trying to be honest and you’re not listening. I want you to be my _boyfriend_ , Mark.”

Mark flinched, head shooting up immediately, “Pardon?” 

Johnny smiled, but it wasn’t happy, something akin to a delicately crafted glass sculpture harboring stress induced cracks, “Not right now, obviously, but in the future. I want you to be my partner. I think I gave you a lot of mixed signals in the beginning and I just- I think I fucked everything up. I tried to keep you safe by not letting my feelings get in the way because I thought you didn’t want that. I was trying to help you experiment and somewhere along the line it became something a lot more for me. Then you said you wanted to go further and we did and then you disappeared and I _thought_ I should give you space, but the space turned into- it turned into you leaving. It turned into your moving on.”

Mark swallowed heavily, eyes finally meeting Johnny’s- those honey colored eyes, the ones that burned amber in the dark and shone brighter than the sun in the light. Those honey colored eyes that creased into smiles and that watched over Mark with a protectiveness he hadn’t found in anyone else. Those honey colored eyes that felt like hands roaming over soft skin and sweet compliments whispered in the early morning light. Mark felt his cheeks heating, “You slept with her last night.”

It was Johnny’s turn to flinch, eyes downcast to the table as he nodded, “I did. I thought that you had moved on with Haechan. I thought you were officially done with me.”

Mark took a gulp of his drink attempting to swallow the rock in his throat. It took them a moment before Mark spoke again, “I’m sorry I ran away that morning.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t chase you.” Johnny offered, smile still as sad and wet and reminding Mark of the fallen leaves on a rainy sidewalk. “I’m also sorry I was late. I brought you something but it took a while to find it.” Johnny pulled out a ring from his pocket, small and silver with detailed etchings across the surface that had Mark’s eyes glimmering. “I’ve had it since I was younger. I bought it because I thought there’d be someone someday that I wanted to give it to. Uh, I guess you could count it as a promise ring? Not for marriage or anything, or at least not yet but- like- as in a- I don’t know? Commitment?” 

Johnny, for the first time since meeting him, was unsure of himself and _stuttering_. It made Mark’s heart soar, “Thank you, Johnny,” He slipped the ring onto one of his fingers, smiling down at it before looking to the blushing older man, “Maybe we should start over?” Mark offered with a small smile on his mouth.

“I think I’d like that.” Johnny suddenly looked lighter, body less tense and face less creased. Mark thought Johnny looked handsome in almost everything, stress not being one.

“Hey, I’m Mark.”

“I wouldn’t trust that with a barge pole.” Mark was speaking English and laughed from his position on the couch as he and Johnny were hanging out in Johnny’s house with Jaehyun. It was the first week of September and everything had fallen into something different that ever, but almost _better_. Everything had gone back to the same as it had been before they had separated, but this time around Johnny didn’t hide his flirting which left Mark a flustered mess most of the time. It was nice, though, to have the reassurance that Johnny was in fact attracted to him enough to publicly compliment him.

“What did you just say?” Johnny laughed, head falling backwards as he wheezed, “You just mashed up like six phrases.”

“Well it worked!” Mark snickered and kicked him gently, “My point was made!” 

“Sure, sure!” Johnny laughed and stretched his limbs, checking the time and finding a text from Doyoung unread from about twenty minutes prior. 

_[Doyoungie 6:47pm] Heads up Yuta’s on his way to Jae and he’s not happy, might want to send Jae home to hide until he calms down._

Just as Johnny was about to open his mouth to warn Jaehyun of the incoming storm, a pounding on the door shook them all from their moment. Johnny stood to get it before the door swung open on his door and he plastered a smile across his face. “Yuta!” He ignored the scowl the man wore darker than his clothing, “What brings you here?” 

“Jaehyun.” Was all he said before scooting past Johnny and finding the man. “Come with me.” 

Jaehyun had a strange expression on his face, one that read as though he knew of what this was about but wasn’t expecting it to land in his lap in this moment. “I don’t think we have much to talk about right now-” 

“Now, Jaehyun.” Yuta wasn’t requesting and finally Jaehyun gave in, the two disappearing into the summer evening together. 

Johnny found out later that they broke up and with that, he spent more time with Jaehyun than Mark. Once again, the two found themselves at arms length. 

September turned to October and the weather finally cooled to bearable temperatures, the leaves melting into vibrant colors of orange and yellow that brought both a sense of wonder but mild sadness to Johnny’s chest. With autumn came the desire for the body heat of another person and it felt as though he were going to spend another cold season alone. 

Mark and he hadn’t seen each other in a while, the two communicating mostly through text as they spent their time on school work, jobs, internships, and taking care of emotionally damaged friends. Yuta wouldn’t tell Mark what had happened and Jaehyun refused to speak on the break up entirely. Johnny suspected it wouldn’t last, the two far too compatible to actually stay _apart_. It just made Johnny’s life more difficult as he once again put off his own romantic interests to tend to the needs of his friends. 

One day, he thought, he would have his chance one day.

Those words slipped past his drunken lips accidentally that night as the trio sat in his house. Doyoung and Jaehyun had come over that afternoon and interrupted Johnny’s plans of inviting Mark over for the first time in ages. It was frustrating, but he had let them in with a warm smile and an offer for company. 

“Johnny, you don’t have to put aside yourself for us.” Doyoung said carefully after a moment, “You’re our _hyung_ , but you also have needs.”

“You should’ve talked to us,” Jaehyun was frowning and it made Johnny feel guilty, “I wish you would’ve said something. I didn’t realize that we were affecting you and Mark like that.”

Johnny shrugged, “It’s okay.” He wasn’t sure it was, though. “Mark’s not ready to continue anything, anyways.” 

Yuta had gone out with another set of friends for the evening, leaving Mark and Taeyong alone in the apartment to listen to the rain together. They chatted infrequently, both distracted by their own tasks before Mark finally cracked, frustration eating at him, “How do you politely ask someone to make a move?” 

Taeyong looked up from his book, blinking several times before making a weird face, “Like sex?” 

“No,” Mark said quickly, heat filling his face before he groaned, “Yes.”

Taeyong’s laugh was chirpy and light but it still made Mark more shy than before, “If this is about Johnny, just ask. He’s never denied you before.”

Mark tucked his knees to his chest as he leaned back in the sofa, “I mean, he hasn’t but we have barely even kissed since starting over. I know he’s taking it slow with me again but, like, we are moving slower than even the first time. I feel, I don’t know-” 

“Just tell him.” Taeyong laughed again, but it wasn’t mocking and it made Mark feel a little more comfortable with everything, “Johnny’s so whipped it’s funny, you could ask him to sign his car over to you and he would.”

“No he wouldn’t,” Mark managed to stuttered out, though his fingers were playing with the silver ring that hadn’t left his hand since Johnny had given it to him. 

“He’s waited for you for _how_ long?” It was rhetorical, the answer unnecessary to make his point. “Whipped.”

Mark hadn’t been invited over to Johnny’s house, but he found himself there anyways. The lights were on, but it was only Johnny’s car in the driveway. There was a second where he thought about entering, though a lingering insecurity of where he stood in the man's life kept him planted to the doormat. Mark knocked a quick rhythm before tucking his hands into his jeans pockets and wobbling on his heels. A minute long pause happened before he reached for the doorbell and dinged it twice. It took a few moments before the door swung open.

Johnny was large enough to take up the entire doorframe when the door swung open, hair dripping wet and staining the hoodie he had pulled on over top of his shorts. It was clear he’d just left the shower, the scent of his vanilla and pepper body wash strong enough to smell despite the small distance between them. “Oh,” He said, jaw slackening, “Mark! Come in, what are you doing here?” 

When Mark stepped inside he could feel the goosebumps coating his skin quickly, body reacting already to the _idea_ of what he was going to ask. “I wanted to see you,” Mark said shyly, looking at his shoes. 

“I’m glad you came, actually,” Johnny’s voice was gentle and kind, the same one he had used what felt like ages ago when he was coaxing Mark out of his shell before he stood at an arm's length every day. He invited Mark inside, the other kicking off his shoes as the elder continued, “I was going to have a movie night. Your company would definitely be nice.”

“That sounds nice,” Mark admitted, skin and chest warm at the direct admission to it being Mark’s presence that he would enjoy, “I’d love to join.” _Maybe you can fuck me after?_ The thought sent Mark’s cheeks on fire as he swallowed it back. He couldn’t ask like that.

“Perfect, let me go finish showering real quick.” Johnny winked then turned on his toes towards the stairs.

Mark’s tongue felt heavy and dry, but his voice slipped from his mouth as he found the courage he hadn’t thought he had, “Let me join you.”

Johnny stopped midstep, body tense, frozen in the moment. Mark was holding his breath, fingers knotted in his pockets against his thighs as he held onto the courage. Johnny turned slowly, gaze heavy, “Join me?” Mark nodded stiffly to Johnny’s skeptical expression, “In the shower?” Mark nodded again. It took Johnny a beat before he said, “Okay.”

Mark let out his breath when Johnny turned and headed for the stairs again, Mark trailing at a slight distance.

That was how Mark found himself pinned against the bathroom door, body already on fire despite the lack of any true actions. Johnny had unzipped the hoodie he was wearing, bare chest on display as Mark’s fingers trailed over the smooth skin. He was so tanned from summer practices in the long course pool and all the days he spent outside. His body was toned and ripe and Mark felt so much regret for not letting himself fall into this sooner. Johnny’s mouth worked so carefully over his as though he was afraid of breaking him, or maybe scaring him. Mark didn’t mind, the kiss was hot and wet and warm and he liked the feeling of being treated as important enough to be concerned over. 

It had taken them only a few minutes to get to the point of grinding and panting, Mark far too uncomfortable in his jeans and Johnny beginning to grow hard against the crease of his hip, basketball shorts tenting slightly. Johnny’s first moan, swallowed by Mark’s tongue, was what sent Mark into action. Breaking the kiss, he breathed out against Johnny’s lips, “Shower, shower now.” 

Johnny reluctantly departed, heading to the shower and turning it on again. He turned to face Mark as he slid the jacket off and Mark couldn’t help but watch the way his biceps flexed and the veins lining the muscles bulged and he was equally as enraptured with the sight of his abs flexing as he breathed and how his hipbones created a valley where his shorts elastic sat. Then there was the trail of dark hair leading to something that made Mark’s blood move both sluggishly but also with an intense heat, almost as though everything inside him had been replaced by lava. Mark looked away when Johnny slid his shorts off, face warm and mind still too shy to make eye contact. 

Mark could hear the smirk Johnny wore as the elder snickered and climbed into the shower, closing the frosted glass case. Mark was able to look up finally, only seeing the outline of Johnny in the shower against the wall and he felt as though he could breathe again. He stripped slowly, though without thinking as he tried not to scare himself off. This was what he _wanted_ , what he had wanted for a _very_ long time. He was nervous, yes, but by now he knew Johnny would do everything with care, with patience, with thought towards how Mark was feeling and everything in between. He didn’t feel scared, not really, just _nervous_.

Johnny was waiting under the spray for Mark, the actual act of showering no longer forefront on his mind. Instead he just found himself lazily stroking his cock underneath the water, letting his body take control as he thought about the implications of Mark’s self-invitation. He _finally_ wanted to continue, _finally_ was at the point where he was ready for more and Johnny was ready to oblige. 

When Mark finally slid the case open and slotted himself through the tiny entry he had made, he remained with his back facing Johnny. His skin was a honeycomb color from the sunrays that had kissed the delicate flesh on occasions over the summer, the remaining memories of a strange summer. There was a light tan line around his neck and arms from the tee shirts he wore and his thighs were lighter than his calves but he looked _incredible_. Johnny admired the way his waist was so thin he felt as though he could wrap his hands around it, the way that his thighs were muscular and plush and his ass curved just right for a handful. Mark’s back was muscular and the goosebumps covering his skin were either from the heat or Johnny’s staring, but either way it made him want to feel the skin beneath his fingertips. 

Johnny was slowly losing self control, allowing himself to give in for just a moment. He let one hand reach up and press against his shoulder blade, feeling the muscle beneath his palm, watching as Mark’s shoulders tensed and his breathing stopped again. Johnny let his hand slide up to his shoulder, gripping firmly and moving him backwards. His mouth pressed against Mark’s ear as he spoke, kind as ever but laced with something knee-weakening as Mark became putty once again, “You can’t shower if you never touch the water.” 

He twisted the two, turning so Mark was underneath the stream the man gasping as the warm water fell over his skin suddenly, melting backwards into Johnny’s grasp and closing the small distance he had left, finally. Johnny mouthed at his neck, the water sliding over his mouth and making it slick. He bit a mark into the muscle, slightly more rough than usual, and earned a deep noise from the younger. Johnny let his hands trail down his sides, over his ribs, memorizing the way his hips curved and his abs flexed- he selfishly traced every bit of Mark to his memory before the younger could take it back.

Mark was fully hard by the time Johnny’s fingers finally wrapped around him, the younger jerking immediately as his hips canted into the wet grasp with an equally wet plea. He had thought about the first and only time Johnny had made him cum _constantly_ , the mind-blowing sensation of someone else milking his body burned into his memory. The feeling of Johnny completely unravelling him again was welcomed as he let himself fall into it without care. “We don’t have to go too far, I don’t mind getting you off and watching the movie.” Johnny’s voice wasn’t frustrated and it wasn’t pushy and that sent another wave of arousal through him as he let his hips chase his hand. 

“I-I didn’t come here for a h-handjob.” Mark gritted out, dropping his head back on Johnny’s chest. 

Johnny was able to see down the entire front of him for the first time, able to see the curve of his pecs, the valleys of his abs, could see the dark hair flattened against the base of his cock- and _oh, his cock_. It was pretty and dark and the _perfect_ ratio of thickness to length and Johnny couldn’t remember having ever seeing as pretty of a dick. Maybe Taeyong’s back when they’d hooked up the one time during their freshman year, but that was as close as he could imagine. Everything about Mark was _pretty_. “You have a pretty dick, y’know that?” Johnny said and Mark whined in complaint, shyness creeping in, but Johnny just laughed, “Last time I couldn’t see it, but I could feel it and I just _knew_ you’d be this perfect.”

“Quit that,” Mark complained, elbowing him, “Dicks aren’t pretty.”

“Yours is.” Johnny said simply and kissed the back of his head, tightening his grip to silence further complaints. It worked, Mark buckling over slightly against the arm that had wound around his chest. “What did you come here for then?” 

Mark clenched his jaw, quivering only for a moment before responding, “I want to, y’know,” There was a pause before Mark groaned, realizing Johnny wouldn’t continue without him verbalizing it, “You’re going to make me say it, aren’t you?”

“Yup,” Johnny confirmed, removing his hand to turn Mark around and press him against the shower wall, “I need to be sure this is what _you_ want, not what you think _I_ want. I want to do this when you’re ready, not when you feel like you’re losing me.”

Mark swallowed heavily and Johnny followed the movement with his eyes, “I’m ready.” Was the only response he received, Mark’s voice caught in his throat.

Johnny supposed that would have to do. He gave Mark another kiss, this one wet and sloppy as their mouths slipped from the shower overhead and the water mixed with their spit and made breathing more difficult than it should be. Neither of them solved the problem, though, resorting to just letting the mess fall between them and gasping quietly against the others mouth. Johnny’s hands roamed everywhere they could reach, imprinting the muscles in his mind with a lingering fear that this was all he was ever going to get. Something in him felt incredibly possessive; he wanted to mark and bruise and stain every inch of skin with _himself_ so Mark could never move on, never find better. Johnny had known from the start that this wasn’t anything more than him making Mark feel comfortable enough to find an _actual_ partner, but something in him didn’t _want_ that. Johnny spent ages flirting and hovering and doting and he wanted Mark to stay _his_. Still, he thought, whatever the younger man thought was best for himself he would choose. 

When Mark broke away and dropped his head against the tiles with a dull thud, Johnny still didn’t look at him. He was _distracted_ , Mark thought. The kiss had changed, slightly duller, slightly less consuming. He was concerned, a nagging insecurity itching at the layers of his skin, a voice telling him he _wasn’t doing it right_. Mark blinked, attempting to rid himself of the fog and swallowed heavily, “Are you okay?” 

Johnny looked to him finally, standing more than a head above him. Mark’s head easily could tuck underneath Johnny’s chin and perhaps that was one of the most addicting things about being around Johnny- Mark could feel _small_ without feeling _powerless_. Johnny gave him a faint smile, wet with more than just water and saliva, “Sorry, I thought of something that you’re going to be less than pleased to be asked.” Mark felt his face contort before he could control his expression and Johnny’s face softened into such a fond expression Mark almost looked away. “You’ve never said how you want to do this.”

Mark felt his chest heat and he was thankful for the temperature of the warm water having covered the way his skin broke into flames. “I-I don’t know, what do you like?”

Johnny’s expression was still so kind and fond and it finally broke Mark, his eyes falling to the filigree curves of Johnny’s collarbones as the elder chuckled full of mirth and lightness, “I’m comfortable with either, maybe we can try both at some point. Can I try something first?” Mark nodded slowly, water dripping from his eyelashes like tears and Johnny felt his chest tighten. “Turn around and hold onto the bar, I’ll see how you like this.” 

Mark followed the instructions, feeling oddly naked now that Johnny had peeled himself away and slid from the showercase. Mark gripped the waist-high bar, rocking nervously on his toes as he attempted to let his insecurities wash away with the water down the drain. Johnny hadn’t left the bathroom and he wasn’t gone for longer than thirty seconds before he was sliding in behind Mark again. Mark was too nervous to look behind him, his chest bubbling with anxiety, so he choked out a laugh and said, “We’re wasting so much water.” 

“Nothing with you is ever a waste.” Johnny’s voice was so sincere, so _genuine_ , Mark let his head drop against the tiles and breathed out shakily, the nerves melting into something far more strange, far more _warm_. “Okay, are you fine with me fingering you?” 

Mark squeaked, jumping slightly, his head whipping back to stare at Johnny with a horrified expression that made the elder stifle a laugh. “D-Don’t say things like that!” 

“I’m asking if you want to try it!” Johnny defended, the smile disarming as Mark slowly let himself turn back around, grumbling slightly still. Johnny pressed several kisses to his shoulder, hands coming up to knead his lower back as his mouth worked over his shoulder. Mark allowed himself to relax, panting against the tiles as he began to ache again. Johnny’s hands moved to his hips, fingers still pressing and firm, working the muscles into a softened state that had Mark relaxing further against the wall. When Johnny’s hands slide down and his thumbs pressed into the flesh of his ass and his fingers dug into the creases of his hipbones, he almost tensed back up. _Relax_ , he cursed to himself, _it’s just Johnny._ That soothed his worries, remembering the fact that it was just _Johnny_. Johnny who had taken such attentive care of him for the past several years. Johnny who had never crossed any lines Mark hadn’t asked him to. Johnny who had given him the _best_ orgasm of his life. Johnny who felt like something comfortable, something warm, something Mark could see himself spending every day of his life around. It was just _Johnny_.

Mark hadn’t noticed Johnny pick up the coconut oil container he had brought into the shower and hadn’t noticed when the elder had slathered some on his fingers. He _did_ notice when Johnny trailed his fingers down the crease of his ass, though. Mark gave a weird noise, not a _stop_ but not a _go_. Johnny paid him attention and kissed his shoulder several more times, trailing up the back of his neck, “Let me know when you’re ready.” 

Mark squeezed his eyes shut. _It’s just Johnny_ , he reminded himself before nodding. “I’m ready.” 

Johnny’s kisses didn’t stop and neither did his fingers. They pressed down and finally found the soft spot they were searching for, circling his rim with the faintest of flicks. Mark felt goosebumps covering his skin, knuckles tightening as he gripped the bar in front of him. His legs were both weak and tense and he wasn’t sure where to focus until there was pressure and Johnny’s fingertip slid _in_. Mark squeaked again, body automatically clenching and Johnny nipped his shoulder, “Relax,” When Mark didn’t comply he nipped again and caught his earlobe between his teeth, “Mark, _relax_.” Finally Mark felt the stress in his body melt away and slide down the drain and Johnny gave him a rewarding kiss on the cheek. 

His finger slid in further and Mark couldn’t tell if he liked it or _not_. It was a strange sensation, a slight burn around the stretch but nothing painful- it was more just _uncomfortable_. “This feels weird.” He finally breathed out, “I don’t know if I like it.”

“It’s always weird in the beginning,” Johnny admitted apologetically, “It takes a bit to get used to it. Plus, you’re _so_ fucking tight, it really is going to take some relaxing and stretching for you to feel comfortable.” Mark nodded slowly, eyes clenched shut. “Do you trust me?” 

Mark nodded again, “Yeah.”

“Then give me just a few minutes.” Johnny’s voice held a promise that made Mark want to continue, so the boy allowed himself to relax against the wall. Johnny took that as his go ahead and slowly withdrew his finger, sliding it almost all the way out before sliding back in again. He wiggled it occasionally, drawing it out at different angles. The longer he went the less uncomfortable it felt and it helped that Mark had begun to drag his cock against the slick tiles as a distraction. There was a second where Johnny’s free hand left his waist and fiddled with the coconut oil, but Mark hardly paid it any mind as he ground against the wall and gasped wetly at the feeling. Then, there was a familiar pressure on Johnny’s last withdrawal, the feeling of a second finger sliding in. Mark gasped, eyes peeling open to stare at the multicolored tiles, wide and watery as Johnny dug a bit deeper. 

“Weird,” He mumbled again, breathing heavier.

“It’ll get really good.” Johnny promised again and kissed around the nape of his neck, “Trust me.” 

Mark did, implicitly, probably more than he ever should. So he let his hands hold the bar until his knuckles were white and numb and forced his body to relax. It was maybe a minute more of Johnny’s fingers prodding aimlessly at his insides that he finally curled his fingers towards Mark’s belly button and he felt a strange noise fall from his mouth. “What the _fuck_?”

Johnny laughed and kissed his cheek and Mark could _hear_ the smirk that was on his mouth, “I told you it’ll get really good.” Mark wasn’t sure it felt _good_ , but it definitely felt _something_. Everytime Johnny pressed his fingers into that spot Mark’s body heated up further until he felt as though he were boiling the water around them. His legs were becoming weak, the pleasure finally hitting him in strong, almost unbearable, waves and his throat constricted around the words he _wanted_ to say. Instead, he just cried and held onto the bar for dear life, begging the tiles for relief- he had stopped grinding his cock against them, no longer able to stand the dual sensations. 

“J-Johnny stop,” He finally was able to stutter out, “Stop, please- wait.” 

Johnny froze, fingers not leaving his body but no longer threatening his sanity, “Are you okay?” 

It took him a second of heavy breathing before he was composed enough to remember how to speak, a shudder wracking his body as he did so, voice almost lost against the sound of the shower, “I felt like I was going to pass out, what the fuck are you doing?” 

Johnny’s laugh was once again kind and soothing and made Mark ever so thankful for the guise of the water temperature which was now suffocating against the heat of their bodies, “It’s called prostate milking, Mark, and the goal is to _cum_ not stop at the end.” 

Mark’s voice was shaky when he was able to respond, “What if I can’t cum again then?” 

He could feel Johnny shrug against his back, “We could fuck later on, it doesn’t have to be tonight.” 

Mark almost accepted, almost took that and let Johnny finish what he had started but there was a nagging voice in his mind that told him that if he chickened out now there would be another time lapse where he was unable to be around the elder without feeling embarrassed. No, he needed to finish what _he_ had started. “I want to fuck tonight.” 

“Alright,” Johnny said after a single beat, and Mark listened to him shuffle around in the shower spray for a moment. It took him a shaky minute before Johnny shut the water off and Mark instantly missed the rhythmic pattern of the shower spray keeping him sane. “Let’s move to my room then.” 

Mark nodded but didn’t turn around when Johnny slipped from the shower. It took him several deep breaths that shook almost as much as his thighs before Johnny opened the case and called him. Mark looked over his shoulder to see Johnny standing in the opening with a frayed maroon towel tied around his waist, holding up a faded and soft but worn looking blue towel. “What?” 

“Come here, doofus,” Johnny responded with a lopsided grin that creased his eyes, “I’m going to dry you off.” Mark’s skin was warm from the shower still, but the color was undoubtedly from _Johnny_. He turned shyly, hands moving to cover his crotch though Johnny maintained eye contact as he dropped the towel over his head and scrubbed the water from his hair. Gently he moved down his neck and shoulders and chest and back before tying it around his waist politely. The actions were oddly intimate in a way that made it impossible for Mark to beg his heart to stop thundering. 

Johnny didn’t seem to notice nor mind when he led the two to his room and closed the door behind him. The smile he wore was genuine while he watched Mark fall onto the bed, towel riding up his thighs. Mark wanted to be embarrassed but the entirely too fond look in Johnny’s eyes made it impossible to feel such an emotion. Johnny was comfortable, Mark reminded himself, a safe person to be around. This was _Johnny_.

When Johnny plopped down on the bed next to him it felt oddly familiar, like all the times where they’d sat under twilight skies and giggled about stupid things and argued about best pokemon’s and which cartoon had been better. Mark had insisted Tim Horton’s had the better pastries but Johnny fought back with _but does Tim’s have little cheese egg bites? No? Well, Starbucks does._ It brought back a warmth that bubbled through Mark with a grin to match. Johnny seemed to have the same feeling, a smile decorating kiss bitten lips, and Mark wondered if this was what falling in love felt like. 

“Hey, Mark?” Johnny said after a moment, suddenly aware of the two sitting in such an unnoticeable silence, just smiling at each other. 

“Yeah?” Mark breathed shallowly when Johnny’s hand trailed against his jaw, fingers tentative and shy.

“Can I kiss you?” Johnny’s fingers never stopped, his motions almost scared of startling him. Mark supposed he had acted as a scared animal previously, running at the newness of any given situation. This time Mark refused to run. He shifted forwards and pressed a kiss as soft as Johnny’s fingers to those familiar lips, the scent of faded chlorine and soap completely overtaking his senses. 

It took only the wet slide of their lips for less than a breath cycle for Johnny to climb on Mark, knee sliding between his thighs to brace himself. Their lips were so gentle, so casual, so _natural_. Mark didn’t really believe in things like soulmates or fate, but he _did_ believe in the idea that Johnny was possibly _made_ for him. The weight of a silver ring weighed heavy on Mark’s heart and he smiled into the kiss slightly, lips folding against Johnny’s awkwardly. 

The elder pulled away and trailed his lips across the expanse of unmarked skin across his neck and chest, gentle hands unfolding the towel Mark wore, Mark let him. When Johnny’s fingers wrapped around his cock again, Mark let him. When Johnny’s mouth found his ear again, mumbling sweet nothings as he worked his body over, Mark let him. 

Johnny finally pulled away to grab the lube, unable to stand the sounds Mark was letting out through parted lips -the soft mewls, the wet groans, the cracked whimpers-. Johnny let the towel drop from his hips, digging out a condom and lube from the drawer by his bed, sliding on the condom before coating his cock and his fingers, grinning at the way the younger had completely covered his face with his hands at this point. It was a moment that Mark was distracted that Johnny could finally admire him in full. Mark was curvy in a muscular way, his thighs wide and waist narrow. His shoulders weren’t extremely broad, but he was triangular and masculine with defined muscles buried under a thin layer of fat that softened their edges. His tan lines from summer were fading with the leaves on the trees, the last remnants of the summer they spent apart.

Overall, Mark was fucking _gorgeous_.

He nudged Mark’s knees open, slotting between them a little more aggressively than he intended considering his sudden urge to bury himself balls deep in the younger. Mark peeked out from his fingers, face flushed in a lovely champagne color as Johnny’s unlubed hand rubbed reassuring circles into one of Mark’s thighs. “Are you still okay with this?” 

Mark’s chest shuddered, an earthquake happening between his ribcage as he did so, before nodding hesitantly, “Of course.” 

Johnny led his one knee up and brought his foot onto the bed for better access as his other fingers dipped beneath his balls to prod at the already softened muscles. His fingers dipped inside and with soft scissoring motions he worked the younger into a whining mess again. Mark was easy to rile up, easy to frustrate, Johnny was discovering. The younger crumbled under the lightest amount of pressure, chalk under car tires. He was easy to manipulate and easy to get lost in. Johnny found himself almost as worked up as the younger by the time he pulled out his fingers. 

When he rested a knee on the lip of the bed and hovered just over Mark, the two stared at each other in a way unlike previously. Mark was tense again, body ready but nervous, and Johnny was terrified of spooking the younger. Johnny took his clean hand and brushed it against Mark’s cheek. “Are you sure?” 

Mark nodded, still tense as his jaw muscles flexed. He seemed to be working over some words stuck on his tongue, mind whirring momentarily. Apparently he thought long enough and spat the words he was mulling out, “Are you going to fuck my pussy or not?” 

Johnny’s jaw slackened, eyes nearly falling from his head as the blood seemed to evaporate right in front of the two. There were several seconds where Mark didn’t breathe and Johnny didn’t move a muscle. Mark was the first to blink and that’s all it took for Johnny to break. The elder sucked his lips into his mouth before puckering them. There was another blink from Mark as Johnny’s cheeks puffed out with barely contained air. Then, Johnny shattered. The laughter that fell from his chest wasn’t mocking and it wasn’t demeaning, but mirthful and warm, like everything else about Johnny, and it made Mark chuckle deep in his chest as well. Despite the position he was laying in, body entirely exposed to the elder, he didn’t feel exposed or vulnerable. 

“Mark Lee,” Johnny wheezed, straightening up slightly from his crumpled posture, “ _Where_ did you learn _that_ and _why_ did you think it was a good moment to use it?” 

It was Mark’s turn to pout, lips puckered and eyes averted, “I heard it in porn, obviously. I just, I dunno, figured since you were last with a woman you’d probably, I dunno, like it?”

Johnny’s laughter bubbled again, but better contained. He pressed a featherlight kiss to Mark’s inner knee and smiled at him again, “I’m sorry, Markie, but, uh, that definitely is _not_ the case.” 

With that, though, every ounce of tension in Mark’s body had dissipated. _This_ felt like them. The warmth, the smiles, the giggles as Johnny repositioned himself and kissed the tip of Mark’s nose. The gentle pressure Johnny used to slide inside made Mark suck in a breath, ribcage frozen as Johnny’s head dropped onto his sternum with a deep sigh. His hand had brought his thigh up to press next to his head, Mark staring at his own knee trapped in his vision. Before he realized it, Johnny was flush against him, panting into his chest as he mouthed at the skin distractedly. Mark had yet to breathe, mind fuzzy. He couldn’t figure out exactly what he felt. There wasn’t _pain_ , but there was _discomfort_. He felt too full, too stretched, too _open_. It wasn’t painful, but he felt it in his stomach and back and the stretch of his hips. Mark was surprised all of Johnny fit as the man was definitely above average, and on first glance Mark had been convinced there wasn’t any chance of _all_ of him sliding inside. Mark had been wrong, though, Johnny resting completely enclosed as Mark watched the way his shoulders tensed and rose with every strained breath he took.

Mark took the moment to imagine what was going through his mind, what he was thinking, what he was feeling. He quelled the panic in his throat with the sight of _Johnny_ looking three seconds from shattering. He took the moment to stare at the usually composed Johnny falling apart on top of him. The panic was drowned out by the sudden wave of arousal that hit along with the thought of how _he_ was making Johnny feel like that, sound like that, look like that. 

Johnny felt _wrecked_. His only grounding was mouthing at Mark’s chest as he attempted to maintain the head on his shoulders for enough time for the younger to feel comfortable. Mark was _tight_ and while that was expected there was something incredibly debauched about the fact. Johnny knew he would be snug and warm around him, knew that his body would be all consuming, but there was an unexpected rush at the idea that it was caused by his virginity. _His virginity_. Johnny let out a low grown at the thought, hips shifting slightly and drawing a gasp from Mark. Johnny was sitting still with an entirely virgin body wrapped around him and the thought almost made him cum the second it hit him. 

“Fuck, I’m going to wreck you.” Johnny’s voice was gravelly against Mark’s skin, hot and wet as his tongue lapped at his left nipple, the right caught under Mark’s own thigh, “I’m going to make you feel so good- fuck, baby, are you okay?”

Mark had begun to wheeze under the weight of Johnny’s words, the elder popping up to look at his scrunched face. “Fine,” Mark stumbled out, “‘m fine, but holy shit please, d-don’t say things like that.”

“Bad?” Johnny asked, slightly apologetic that his mouth had moved before his brain. 

“No,” Mark rushed out, “No, too good.”

Johnny grinned wickedly and Mark covered his face again. Johnny gave an experimental movement, hips grinding just enough for Mark to feel the drag with little aggression. The man stuttered for a second, lips fumbling over unformed words, and Johnny took the signs as good enough to move slowly.

Johnny’s thrusts were rolling, body curving and smooth, waves crashing against Mark’s resolve. The movements weren’t _good_ yet, but the were _something_. His body was warming to the feeling, the movements slowly feeling more like a molten heat than before. His mind wasn’t able to comprehend when it went from uncomfortable to muscle-melting, but once the sensation hit, it hit _hard_. “J-Johnny?” 

Johnny was distracted, mind fogged by the feeling of the slick slide of Mark’s body and the way his hips ground against Mark’s ass in every deep downwards thrust. Mark’s body was so _hot_ beneath him, so captivating. He was pliant and soft despite the firmly trained muscles and Johnny almost couldn’t breathe from the way Mark had completely surrounded him. “W-what?”

“Feels good,” He finally said on a punctuated thrust that made Johnny groan deep in his chest again, “I think this is good.”

Johnny let out a shaky laugh, nipping at his thigh before unfolding himself and stretching over Mark’s body. “I’m glad,” He breathed against his throat, “Because it feels pretty fucking amazing to me.” Mark _whimpered_ , the sound unexpected and high in his nose. Johnny swallowed the sound with a kiss and a rather rough thrust that had Mark’s hands scrambling for purchase against the nape of his neck. 

Johnny’s fingers were pressing so firmly into his thigh Mark knew there would be bruises the next day, but somehow everything Johnny did was gentle and sweet. His rhythm was slow and gentle, mostly rolling hips rather than violent fucking that Mark had expected, his cock landing deep inside him everytime and staying there for longer than it took to pull out and return. Johnny was thoroughly working him inside and out, mouth swallowing every choked noise and wet cry.

At some point Johnny had found the angle that made him brush against his prostate again without directly attacking it and it made Mark’s eyes wet. It was overwhelming, Mark thought. He couldn’t feel his body anymore, his toes feeling completely disconnected as he pitifully wriggled on the bed beneath Johnny, mouth half forming pleas that he wasn’t sure he understood himself. 

Johnny detached his mouth from Mark’s nipping at his neck as the younger nearly sobbed. “I’m- fuck, Mark, I’m not going to make it-” Johnny wasn’t able to finish, his breathing heavy and deep, far too rough to be safe, Mark thought distantly. 

“It’s fine,” Mark wheezed, “It’s fine.”

Johnny bit roughly at his neck, the most aggressive move of the night, fingers pressing deeper into the muscle of Mark’s thigh as he partially collapsed onto him and ground his hips down. Johnny was barely withdrawing by now, short and deep thrusts eating away at both of their resolves. Mark wasn’t able to take deep breaths, his chest shuddering and catching with every gasp as his mind attempted to find some sanity in the sweaty chaos Johnny was wreaking. With a heavy slap of skin and a groan that rolled so deeply Mark was almost convinced it was a growl, Johnny jerked inside of him. Mark couldn’t feel his cum, couldn’t feel the pulses, but he could _imagine_ it and that was almost just as good. 

Johnny was making too many noises for Mark’s sanity to stay stable, though there was a distinct lack of stimulation that made his body antsy, on the brink of cumming himself. What Mark didn’t expect was for Johnny to pull out and leave him strangely _empty_ after everything. Mark’s eyes flew open as he gaped at the man, “W-wait-” 

Johnny’s fingers were inside of him before he could complain, but the stretch just wasn’t the _same_. “Bring your other knee up.” Johnny’s voice was _rough_ , sandpaper on delicate skin, and Mark moved on pure survival instinct. The new openness left Johnny able to search inside of him until he was able to massage at the nerves he had found in the shower. When his fingers finally made contact with the already awakened area Mark fell apart. His fingers rubbed perfect circles into the nerves without any harsh pressure. Johnny was gentle, so gentle, cooing over him as he did so. “Oh, Markie, you’ve done so well. You took me so well, baby, you did so good.” Johnny was practically cooing and Mark found himself once again unable to make eye contact with the man above him, every bone in his body dissolved until he was nothing more than a pile of overheated flesh against Johnny’s bed. 

“Please,” He begged with a slack jaw, “ _Please_.” Mark had _no_ clue on what he was begging for, but Johnny seemed to. 

“Come on, baby,” He curled his fingers deeper and applied more pressure, moving his hand from Mark’s thigh to his cock to polish the head gently, “You’ve done so well, baby, you’re so beautiful.”

Mark’s orgasm hit him harder than he expected, body craning as he lost his tongue in his throat. There were squeaky noises escaping him with his breathing, his body spasming and flinching away from Johnny despite the elder refusing to let him go. When his cock jerked and the first spurt of cum was pressed into Johnny’s palm, he moved down to let it squirt across his chest. Johnny watched in rapt fascination as Mark fell apart, skin bright and sweaty, hair matted from the shower and tears prickling across his temples as he sobbed into the open air. “There we go, baby, you’re doing so well. Look at you cumming for me like this. What a good boy.” 

Mark choked on the words, his orgasm lasting so much longer than normal, Johnny’s fingers inside of him continually pressing and his hand milking every shot he had left. It took what felt like _minutes_ before he could breathe again and several more before Johnny slid his hands from Mark’s body. Mark watched through tired eyes as Johnny went to slide the condom off of his slowly softening cock and drop it in the trash bin. He watched as Johnny withdrew some baby wipes from his drawer and felt his body warm with the sweet gestures of Johnny cleaning the cum off of him. 

By the time the feeling returned to Mark’s body, Johnny was laying in the bed with him again, but looking so serenely content that Mark couldn’t help but shy away from him. “So, about that movie?” 

Mark laughed, looking up through his lashes at Johnny who had himself propped on his elbow, “I think we need another shower first.” 

“So, are you and Mark, like, a thing now?” Jaehyun asked as the trio sat on a familiar picnic bench, wrapped in a soft peach sweater and navy blue accessories. The weather was still permitting them to spend time outside, though soon it would shift into something inhospitable. Johnny soaked in the last remnants of a liveable world with his friends in between classes.

“Maybe.” Johnny said behind his coffee, “Maybe not. I still don’t see how it’s your business.” It was four days after they’d slept together, the others having finally caught onto it becoming a more stable, more _real_ relationship after the two had only parted for classes today. Johnny wouldn’t tell them the answer was _yes_ , though he knew they knew.

“I think we have the right to know considering you’re always in our business.” Doyoung argued, absolutely swaddled in an eggplant peacoat and dark green scarf. Doyoung hated the cold almost as much as Taeyong. 

“Speaking of your business,” Johnny said cheerily, excited for the outlet, “Are you and Yuta back together?” Jaehyun huffed and instead stuffed french fries into his mouth, murmuring about not wanting to talk about it. 

Within the time it took Johnny to grin, their other halves showed and interrupted, sliding into their respective seats. Yuta and Jaehyun weren’t looking at each other but Johnny had a feeling it was coming to the point where they’d get back together. If he knew Jaehyun, he knew the man was unable to stay away from even his worst habits. 

“Hey, boys,” Johnny said with a wide smile as he stole two oreos out of the three on Mark’s plate. “How are you today?”

“Hey!” Mark shouted, eyes wide behind his glasses, backwards baseball cap holding his newly brown hair from his forehead, Johnny and he having dyed it together in his bathroom the day before in Johnny’s bathroom on a whim, “Those are mine! I stole those from the chess club fair and square!” 

“You beat up a bunch of nerds for some cookies?” Doyoung asked, eyebrow cocking beneath his thick glasses and bangs, “That sounds like an awful high school bully thing to do, Mark. I always knew you were immature, but that’s a new low.” 

“I didn’t beat anyone up!” Mark defended, voice higher now, hands waggling as he attempted to clear his name. 

“Yeah, I’m sure you asked politely for them.” Jaehyun snorted, sniggering into his soda with glittering mischievous eyes.

“Wait, no, I think he’s not lying,” Johnny interrupted and Mark almost looked relieved for the back up, until Johnny’s grin stole the trust from him, “In order to beat someone up you have to be tougher than them. I’m sure the chess club would’ve beat his ass.” 

Mark gaped, lunging across the table for the cookies, snatching them from Johnny’s fingers easily as the elder laughed from his chest. “I got them because Jeno was there! You guys are awful friends!” 

Johnny could do nothing but grin widely at his boyfriend and think, _winter had never felt so warm._

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed!!!
> 
> For the readers of this as a one-shot: thank you!! I hope you enjoyed it!! :D<3
> 
> For those who have read the series: I'm planning a follow up DoTae about their week before the club fight and a YuJae about their break up and also a potential game of drunken truth or dare. Let me know what you think and which you'd want to have first haha
> 
> Anyways, please stay safe in this world. Please stay safe, stay informed. Sending lots of love. 
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/MidnightPasses)  
> [CC](https://curiouscat.me/MidnightPasses?t=156572385)


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